Rainy Days and Mondays

Rainy days have always gotten me down--Mondays or otherwise. When some see it as a perfect opportunity to curl up with a book, or catch up with sleep, my heart sinks into the grayness of the clouds and my spirit is quietly crying along with the raindrops.

I can't explain it and I can't will myself to feel better, specially when PMS hovers like a vulture and I am anxious to ward off the threat of depression, waiting to push me over the brink. (Translation: I just want to cry and pity myself). I count my blessings and realize that life is good, but gloom abounds.

So when I took the BART yesterday, I endured a long, dark, damp, and cold ride. I was, in fact, scared and sad at the same time--which is really not my personality. I thought, "If I go to hell, it will be raining. And my ultimate nightmare will star PMS, SAD, and panic attacks. . ."

I take solace in the fact that I am not alone. Yahoo conducted research about rainy days and mood and many found a gloomy day to be, well, gloomy and that sunny days are well, sunnier and brighter. I therefore conclude that all this gray will kill me.

I envy my husband who revels in the rain like a child, almost holding out his tongue for raindrops. When it rains, his first instinct is to take a drive and splash around the puddles. (!!???!!)

I also hope that I don't have SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or winter blues--a biochemical imbalance in the hypothalamus due to the shortening of daylight hours and the lack of sunlight in winter. (Is it my hypothalamus I feel when the back and sides of my neck seem swollen?)

In my heaven, there will be an infinity of sunny days, skipping, smiling children, bright colored flowers, funny movies, and books!

Meanwhile, nothing to do but frown and pray. I must run out to rent a comedy video, and I will try the thick, Spanish hot cocoa I bought in the Pinoy store. . .