Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Before the Butterfly Emerges

The opposite of "the calm before the storm," is what awesome executive coach, Clara Chorley, says, "Hang in There. Right when things get most uncomfortable and you want to walk/run/crawl away… is often right when things are about to turnaround and come to you."

Just before the butterfly emerges, it is a worm that turns into slush before it becomes a butterfly. And so before the metamorphosis comes the disintegration.

Right now, I have been in the cocoon as a worm, and now I am turning into slush. I feel weak, punched to stomach, negative, anxious and scared that I will not get the job I like and worked hard to get a second interview for. Though I put tremendous effort to stay positive and remain courageous, I am just tired. I am clammy, restless, and I cannot get off the couch. I am also ultra-sensitive and about to pick a fight with my partner, just to get my mind off the waiting.

I am strong, I take chances, and I have withstood bigger rejections and longer waiting. I will get that job and if I don't, I will be okay. . . . that is the reality of my energy. I wish to trick my subconscious with imagery but I think it knows. . . .

Deep breaths. . . .I see myself BARTing to training, trying my best, exhilarated and fulffilled at this wonderful second chance to heal, to live. . . .Please Universe, open and arrange that for me. . . .