my notes

Before the Butterfly Emerges

2010-05-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

The opposite of "the calm before the storm," is what awesome executive coach, Clara Chorley, says, "Hang in There. Right when things get most uncomfortable and you want to walk/run/crawl away… is often right when things are about to turnaround and come to you."

Just before the butterfly emerges, it is a worm that turns into slush before it becomes a butterfly. And so before the metamorphosis comes the disintegration.

Right now, I have been in the cocoon as a worm, and now I am turning into slush. I feel weak, punched to stomach, negative, anxious and scared that I will not get the job I like and worked hard to get a second interview for. Though I put tremendous effort to stay positive and remain courageous, I am just tired. I am clammy, restless, and I cannot get off the couch. I am also ultra-sensitive and about to pick a fight with my partner, just to get my mind off the waiting.

I am strong, I take chances, and I have withstood bigger rejections and longer waiting. I will get that job and if I don't, I will be okay. . . . that is the reality of my energy. I wish to trick my subconscious with imagery but I think it knows. . . .

Deep breaths. . . .I see myself BARTing to training, trying my best, exhilarated and fulffilled at this wonderful second chance to heal, to live. . . .Please Universe, open and arrange that for me. . . .

Me Time

2009-06-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

My favorite me time is, after bringing my daughter to elementary school, and then my son to middle school, and then my teen to high school, (whew!), I have time to have breakfast in peace. Mostly at home, where I prepare my perfect cup of coffee and maybe my own-made bread and some butter or cheese.

The highlight of the breakfast is the leisurely reading the newspaper, scanning it entirely from cover to cover, without so much of a hurry, or so much of a whiny noise anywhere around!

And then comes 11am when I have to get my preschooler ready for her mid-day shift in school.

Found Blogs

2009-05-30T02:46:00.000-07:00

Burnt Lumpia

Mommy Misadventures

Mission: Be Kind to Myself for a month

2009-05-27T14:21:00.001-07:00

I dare to be kindest to myself!

Acts of Kindness to Thy Self by Carole Fogarty:

20 Simple Acts Of Kindness To Get You Started:

1. Be kinder to your intuition. Too many times I hear people not trusting their gut feeling or intuition only to realize it when it’s too late. Be kind to your spiritual well being by trusting that little voice inside.

2. When your thinking feels over crowded be kind to your body by releasing the pressure from your head with a few gentle deep breathes, a stretch, child yoga pose or some potent hand yoga.

3. Be kinder to your stomach, digestion and get maximum nourishment out of all your meals by promising yourself to never eat whilst walking, standing up or doing something else at the same time.

4. Be kind to your largest organ - your skin. Treat your body to a daily body brush to improve the removal of waste from your body.

5. Treat yourself to a massage. You know you deserve it. Touch is one of the most healing and nurturing gestures you can offer your body. Be kind to your body.

6. Before rushing off in your car, sit quietly for 60 seconds, take a few deep breathes and ground yourself. Be kind to your thoughts and actions as you drive. Don’t get caught up in driving stress. Create breathing space between you, stress and the traffic before you leave your drive way.

7. Be kind to your ears. Turn off the noise. Let your ears hear the peaceful sound of silence. Switch off the man made sounds from your phones, TV and mobiles. Soothe your soul with peace.

8. Be kind to your nervous system. Stop rushing through your day on full throttle. Add pockets of “down time” to give your body a chance to unwind and de-stress. Create 2 mintues of “priority you” time every hour.

9. Be kind to your feet. When was the last time you thanked your feet and offered them some kindness with comfortable shoes, a relaxing foot bath or a fabulous pedicure.

10. Be kind to yourself. Monitor your thoughts and reduce the negative chit chat you may have about yourself. Grab yourself an affirmation to replace your negative conversation with “ I am happy healthy and whole” A Louise Hay affirmation.

11. Make your morning teas simple acts of kindness. Enjoy your cuppa or drink away from your desk, the phone or TV. Make sure you throw away that chipped mug and enjoy your cuppa from a mug or cup that you love to look at, touch and sip from.

12. Be kinder to your restful sleep. Rejuvenate the energy in your bedroom. Make sure your bedroom is not a multi purpose room. Calm and relax its energy.

13. Be kind to your appearance. Spend an extra 5 minutes making yourself feel better with what you wear, how your hair looks, your jewellery or your make up. You deserve to look and feel special, every day, no exceptions.

14. Be kind to your sense of smell. For me personally I love putting 4 drops of pure essential rose oil each morning on my face. The smell is nothing short of divine. Better still fill your home or office with smells that uplift your spirits.

15. Be kind to your hands and sense of touch: Show your hands how much you love and appreciate them. Treat them with a special hand cream. Massage the palm of your hands or place an eye pillow over them.

16. Be kind to your eyes. Don’t stare for hours at a screen, treat your eyes to natural light, circular movement or rest by closing them.

17. Be kind to your spine. Lie for 5 minutes on your yoga mat, eyes closed, arms relaxed and eye pillow on. Focus on your breathe and feel with each exhale your muscles unwind and relax.

18. Ground yourself by connecting with nature. When was the last time your feet weren’t standing on a floor, concrete, car park or shopping centre. Hug a tree, sit on the grass, let your bare feet touch the earth. Connecting to nature is a wonderful way to bring more kindness and well being back into your body.

19. Be kind to your body by moving it more. Go for a walk, enrol in a yoga or tai chi class, buy a push bike or dance when you clean your home

20. Be kind to yourself by inviting more play and fun into your life. Don’t take life too seriously. When was the last time you were spontaneous? When was the last time you ate ice cream or chocolate for breakfast?

Climbing out of burn-out

2009-05-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

Burn-out is a physical and mental state you turn into by placing your body under severe strain until all resources and energy more or less is consumed, and the body can not recover without prolonged restitution and other necessary actions.
You don’t get burned out over night. The symptoms of wearing out come very gradually. Burn-out is not an own diagnosis. The doctor will instead use for example Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I am old enough to have suffered burn-out. I suffered maybe 2, in fact. The first was when I held a job that I so did not like. to make things worse, I was not even earning enough as a single mother to buy my son's milk, without help from relatives. I chugged along because I was trained to die committed to duty and to never quit.

Well, life taught me another lesson. It taught me when to quit. My body gave in: I had fevers for a week (only at night), and then my hair fell off. I freaked out and took a leave of absence to discern what I had to.

What I had to do was to re-assess my life choices. I had to earn a living, true. But I had to be passionate (or at least, alive) about it. My spirit was dying and my body was close behind.

I gathered my guts and did what was then unthinkable: I resigned from the job. To be uncertain and out of a job was way out of my usual orientation. But then again, it was the only way to unlearn the over-achieving traits I had clung to for so long.

My burn out taught me so many things. One, I have to be kinder to myself, expecting less, pleasuring it more. There are things beyond my control and even after my best efforts, I cannot predict anything for sure. I have to regularly stop and check out my emotional and spiritual gauges and make sure that I am still alive and that my resources have not been depleted for the sake of duty.

Two, I have to train myself to cognitively see the positive side of the present, instead of being jittery about the future, or depressed about the past. It takes time to see the blessing in disguise, the silver lining of the storm cloud. But the time spent is all worth it as happiness is a matter of perspective and a matter of choice.

I am now in the middle of my life and I have once again burned out, taking in things bigger than I can chew. The symptoms were familiar: fatigue, depression, and then fever, allergy, conjunctivitis--all signaling my body's weakened defenses.

I cannot write, though I have been a writer by profession. My old hobbies are not interesting at all, and I just sort of lost my mojos. I am going through the motions and I am just blown around by the currents of midlife.

But I stop and get a grip: Instead of looking the present recession, I will see the fact that I am in one of the most prettiest cities in the world, where the weather is just beautiful. I have legal papers, my children are happy, healthy and thriving, and I have a job in the midst of a million lay-offs.

Instead of making mukmok at home, I will see the fact that I haven't been to the coast of Point Reyes, I plan to take my family on an RV to Grand Canyon, and maybe take that cruise to unwind. There are so many joyful things to do and I must no waste my time getting burned out nor depressed.

Ergo, Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

I will run, I will crochet--even when I don't want to. And I will write, even if I feel I don't have anything to say.

On this second burn-out of my life, I recognized the symptoms early and I will summon all my will to climb out of it.

The Reason to Run

2009-01-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

I have been running here and there, mostly in the gym, on the treadmill, for some of last year. This year, I ran more. . and more. When I felt depressed, I ran. When I felt anxious, I ran. When my husband was in Manila, it got quite lonely and unsettled. I ran. When I lost my job, I ran.

Instead of ruminating on thoughts of midlife torture, I put on my running shoes and just took off, hoping to run away from everything. After 30 minutes of running (which is really a speck in real time), I find that my mind and spirit are clear, albeit my body is achy. But since physical pain is secondary to emotional turmoil, I ran again.

Everything hurts when you start to run--the knees, the shins, the feet, the back, the neck, the upper arms, even the head. There were times I would feel sick, sore, and limp the whole day after. "What's wrong, mommy?" asked my younger kids.

"Head, shoulders, knees and toes," I would say, and they would giggle.

"You look like you've been hit by a truck or something," noticed my older boys.

Something magical happens after a third of a mile, specially when running on a trail. The body is warm and loose. Thoughts drift away from feet, to head to spirit. There is just you. I become one with the crisp air that hits your face, the sound of my feet on the trail, the smell of pine trees, and Rihanna's Disturbia. Wonderful as the surroundings seem to be, that too, fades out into thought. The body is in auto-pilot and the mind is free to wander away from mundane constraints, to a land far, far away.

"Mom, are there video games in heaven?"

"Everything that will make you happy is in heaven," I said.

In real life, the mind counters the body, doubting it. My spirit is very shy, prone to conflicts between my distorted and learned mindset. ("You can't do this, you can't do that.") That magical portal happens when the mind, spirit and body are running as one. To get all that trinity in unison is a powerful thing. No one doubts the other, lest they feel the physical pain.

The body is forced to release endorphins, the "runner's high," better than cigarettes, sweeter than coffee, very much like deep and personal prayer--a feeling of connection with your Creator. It's like a peaceful walk in the park, on a sunny day, when you feel loved, and you are just you, like all is well in your heaven, no worries. And that feeling of happiness and peace is a piece of heaven--my reason to run.

And though some days, I feel nauseous when I see my sports bra, I know that in no time, I willfeel better. I have signed up for my first 5k "fun run," which was really not fun to train for at the start. But, just like it is after the first mile, most things are a matter of mind over body, and with spirit in unison, think of the possibilities. . .

My Hero

2008-11-30T08:58:00.001-08:00

Watch Yohannes Gebregeorgis, an Ehtiopian political refugee, came to the US as a librarian. He found there were no children's books in Ethiopia's main language. After writing one himself, he set up the nonprofit Ethiopia Reads and moved home to set up libraries and reading centers.

When the library allocated $1,200 for the purchase of Ethiopian books the following year, Gebregeorgis was unable to find any, because of prohibitive publishing, purchasing and importing costs in his home country.

So he wrote one. "Silly Mammo" was the first bilingual Amharic-English children's book, and it led Gebregeorgis to establish Ethiopia Reads in 1988. Using proceeds from book sales and grassroots book-a-thons, the nonprofit financed his efforts to bring children's libraries to Ethiopia.

In 2002, Gebregeorgis left his job and his home and returned to Ethiopia with 15,000 books donated by the San Francisco Children's Library. With them, he opened the Shola Children's Library on the first floor of his Addis Ababa home.

CNN VideoHERE

Or check out the CNN link HERE.

CNN Heroes: Ordinary People, Extraordinary Impact

2008-11-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

See all the Top 10 CNN Heroes with musical guests Christina Aguilera, Alicia Keys and John Legen, striving to make the world a better place. . . .

"In this time of economic turmoil, it is such a relief to know that there are people like these heroes, people who care more for others than they do for themselves," CNN anchor, Anderson Cooper said.

The top 10 CNN Heroes, chosen by a blue-ribbon panel from an initial pool of more than 3,700 viewer nominations, were each honored with a documentary tribute and introduced by a celebrity presenter. Each of the top 10 Heroes receives $25,000.

Tad Agoglia, Houston, Texas: Agoglia's First Response Team provides immediate help to areas hit by natural disasters. In a little more than a year, he and his crew have helped thousands of victims at more than 15 sites across the United States, free of charge.

Yohannes Gebregeorgis, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia: Moved by the lack of children's books and literacy in his native Ethiopia, Gebregeorgis established Ethiopia Reads, bringing free public libraries and literacy programs to thousands of Ethiopian children.

Carolyn LeCroy, Norfolk, Virginia: After serving time in prison, LeCroy started the Messages Project to help children stay connected with their incarcerated parents. She and volunteer camera crews have taped roughly 3,000 messages from inmates to their children.

Anne Mahlum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: On her daily morning jogs, Mahlum used to run past homeless men. Today, she's helping to transform lives by running with them, and others as part of her Back On My Feet program.

Liz McCartney, St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana: McCartney moved to New Orleans to dedicate herself to helping Hurricane Katrina survivors move back into their homes. Her nonprofit, St. Bernard Project, has rebuilt the homes of more than 120 families for free.

Phymean Noun, Toronto, Ontario: Growing up in Cambodia, Noun struggled to complete high school. Today, she offers hundreds of Cambodian children who work in Phnom Penh's trash dump a way out through free schooling and job training.

David Puckett, Savannah, Georgia: Puckett started PIPO Missions to bring ongoing prosthetic and orthotic care to those in need. Since November 2000, he has helped more than 420 people in southeastern Mexico, free of charge.

Maria Ruiz, El Paso, Texas: Several times a week, Ruiz crosses the border into Juarez, Mexico, bringing food, clothing and toys to hundreds of impoverished children and their families.

Marie Da Silva, Los Angeles, California: Having lost 14 family members to AIDS, the nanny funds a school in her native Malawi, where half a million children have been orphaned by the disease.

Viola Vaughn, Kaolack, Senegal: The Detroit, Michigan, native moved to Senegal to retire. Instead, a group of failing schoolchildren asked her to help them pass their classes. Today, her 10,000 Girls program is helping hundreds of girls succeed in school and run their own businesses.

More than one million votes were cast for the CNN 2008 Heroes: A Special Report

My First Micro Loan

2008-10-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

I just finished my first micro loan transaction investment towards an entrepreneur in Cambodia--through Kiva.Org.

Khin Savun, 21, is a professional who decorates handicrafts while living at home in the Phnom Penh. Since 2003, she has been using beads and other materials to make flowers on women's clothes to earn a living and typically makes US$5 each day. Decorated dresses are a kind of Khmer traditional dress and people wear them during the Water Festival, P'chum Ben or Khmer New Year. It takes around 7–10 days to complete each dress and its price is expensive. Most of the people prefer handmade than machine made. She said she learned how to decorate from her mother and she started doing this business because she was not married yet. Khin's husband is a pig breeder making around US$6 each day. The high prices of rice, fertilizers, meat and feed for animals had made his family work very hard to support the family. He said the purchase price of rice dust, soybean and other stuff for pigs are double what he used to pay, so when he sells the pigs it is not balanced with the cost of raising them. This couple hopes the government will soon take action on inflation. Khin Savun would like to take out a loan of US$1200 to expand the livestock and grow rice. She believes the investment would bring her more profit.

Good Luck to Khin!

Ten Worst Drinks in America

2008-09-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

Best selling book "Eat This, Not That" came up with the
Ten Worst Drinks in America, and boy are they frightful.

What most people don't know is that the biggest roadblock between you and the body you want isn't found at the end of a fork, but at the bottom of a glass. As a country we take in 21 percent of our daily calories from beverages and, according to the FDA, the average American takes in 82 grams of added sugars every day. That's 20 teaspoons, which contribute an empty 317 calories to our already calorie-saturated diets.

The worst ever drink ever award goes to:

Baskin-Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake

2,310 calories
108 g fat (64 g saturated)
266 g

Let's look at America's Worst Drink in numbers:

73: The number of ingredients that go into this milkshake.
66: The number of teaspoons of sugar this drink contains.
11: The number of Heath Bars you would have to eat to equal the number of calories found in one Baskin Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake.
12: The average number of minutes it takes to consume this drink.
240: The number of minutes you'd need to spend on a treadmill, running at a moderate pace, to burn it off.

Read the full article
HERE.

The Girl Effect

2008-07-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

Studies show that educated women will marry later, have higher incomes, will have healthier and more educated children .

A woman will reinvest 90% of their income back to her family. A man will reinvest 30 to 40%.

Do something: send a girl to school, give her a micro loan, spread the word.

Watch the Girl Effect:

Click HERE for more info.

The State of Philippine Education

2008-06-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

I was saddened with the state of the Philippine schools, especially the one featured in this Sine Totoo episode. First because the children of Masbate start their daily 7 kilometer, 3-hour walk to school at 3 in the morning. And when they do get to school, they are hungry and tired but brave dilapidated classrooms, with tattered blackboards, no electricity, school buildings that are about to collapse (if there is a school building to speak of), a lack of desks and chairs, books, and supplies for an average of 120 students in a classroom, the Philippines ranks 41 out of 45 in Asian countries in Math and Science.

Check out the video HERE.

Wouldn't it be great to raise funds and build a small classroom per village?

!0 Clean Ways to Power the 21st Century

2008-06-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

According to Ken Thar of Live Science, scientists are racing to perfect greener sources of energy to improve the environment and reduce dependence on oil and other fossil fuels. Some predict a hydrogen economy. Others say solar is the way to go. Wilder schemes involve sky-high wind turbines or antimatter engines. LiveScience explores the expectations, myths and realities of 10 top possibilities: solar, wind, coal, biomass (energy stored in organic matter), hydro-electricity, ocean thermal energy conversion, nuclear, hydrogen and oxygen fuel cells, and the controversial anti-matter energy.

Antimatter is the Bizarro twin of matter, made up of antiparticles that have the same mass as ordinary matter but with opposite atomic properties known as spin and charge. When the opposed particles meet, they annihilate each other and release tremendous amounts of energy as dictated by Einstein's famous equation, E=mc2.

Check them out at Power of the Future.

E-bikes

2008-06-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some e-bike models I came across this week:

EZip Trailz Steel Women's Electric Bicycle reaches a top speed of 15 MPH and has up to 25 mile range with normal pedaling! For ages 13 and up, not to exceed 240 lbs. Clean, Green No Gasoline. Battery is included. $399.99

Dubbed the bionic bike, the Charger, like all ebikes, allows you to ride uphill, without having to be an olympic athlete. Sale price $799.

Canadian Entrepreneur, Peter Sandler, President of Therapy Products and Inventor of the E-V Sunny Bicycle developed the first all Solar electric bicycle driven completely from power derived from the Sun’s Rays.

The E-V Sunny Bicycle has light absorbing Solar panels built right into the Wheels, creating continual power from the Sun’s Rays, and maintaining a constant charge to the batteries. The bike is propelled by a 500 watt front hub motor.

The variable speed electronic controller drives the bike to speeds of up to 30 kilometers per hour. Overall weight of the bicycle is 75 lbs. and comes with 17 amp hr. batteries and a built in battery charger.

Cost of the E-V Sunny Bicycle is $1295.00 and comes with a 90-day warrantee. The cost of the kit starts at $795.00, includes after sales service.

E-bikes, on the average, run 30% faster than a manual bike, with less effort. Plugging in a standard electric bicycle consumes will allow the bike to charge up to an average of about 9 amp-hours, or 216 watt-hours while consuming less than a dime's worth of electricity. This electricity, even if generated from a coal fired plant, would produce less carbon dioxide than a car would just starting up.

My E-Bike Dream

2008-06-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

I have been obsessed with getting an electric bike lately. With the high gas prices, it is the best way to start disentangling myself from the fuel addiction. I wish to use the bike as a means of transport. But at this stage, I will need some help as I don't want to appear at work as a sweat ball. The e-bike will help me through the hills and back--a moderate work-out. It's like climbing an upward escalator, or walking on a walk-a-lator.

How wonderful if there were no cars, just e-bikes.

Well, here's a video of my e-bike dream come true. In my heaven, there will be e-bikes!

Watch it here.

Planet Green

2008-06-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

It is so exciting to realize that the our planet is shifting--in consciousness, that is. What used to be an excessive lifestyle is now old-fashioned. Measuring our carbon footprint has become a matter of responsibility and so modern. The smaller the impact we make on the earth in terms of waste and consumption, the smaller the footprint. Living simply is making a comeback and tilting the scales in terms of lifestyle.

And I say, yey!

The Discovery Channel has even devoted a whole new series to this emerging consciousness. Check out Planet Green--promoting a green lifestyle that respects our planet. From fashion and beauty tips that encourage less packaging waste to why we should wear garments made from organic cotton, green renovation, eco-friendly bars and restos-this channel is a refreshing venue for all those who wish to do something small and yet, make a difference.

I was so happy that our third-word practice of using a rag, instead of paper towels to wipe off spills, saves billions in landfill space.

With shows like Alter Eco, Stuff Happens, and Wasted, revel in all the information you need to live responsibly.

29 Gifts.com

2008-05-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Visit 29-Day Giving Challenge

I came across this site, 29 Gifts.Com and I was challenged to to try it out. In this times of financial crunching ourselves, it has been a challenge to think of others who are more needy.

My cousin, R and I, had breakfast in Manila before I left. We discussed thinking and serving others as a way to widen our perspectives and think outside our own lives, which always seem smaller than what others have to endure.

So on May 20, a man standing outside of Walmart handed me a small spiritual newsletter:

"Please, won't you help me, ma'am? Everyone has been ignoring me all morning. I just need a one dollar donation."

"Sure," I said, handing me the dollar.

He said thanks in a deep and sincere way, like a light went on in him.

I looked back and the others did ignore him. I stayed for two minutes and not one pedestrian even looked at him.

Little did he know that his deep thanks lit up a light in me, too, inspiring me to be conscious of more opportunities to give.

Take up the challenge at here. It's easier than you think.

How shall we give today?

A Family Imagines No Possessions

2008-05-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

In this article in the New York Times, a family aims to give away all their accumulated possessions and "let the Universe take them for a ride" instead. They aim to be organic homesteaders in a movement called voluntary simplicity.

“It’s amazing the amount of things a family can acquire,” said Mrs. Harris, 28, attributing their good life to “the ridiculous amount of money” her husband earned as a computer network engineer in this early Wi-Fi mecca.

Watch them change everything about their lives as consumers and discover true values; finding out what life is really made of: Love and Happiness--at their blog, Cage Free Family. Read the full article here.

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-04-23T17:23:00.001-07:00

In Three's

2008-03-25T18:23:00.001-07:00

My dentist, Dr. Caboboy, told me what I already knew. When we go home to Manila, there are three things an immigrant does: visit the dentist, re-bond hair, and go for a facial.

Dental work is so ridiculously expensive here, with a filling going for $100 each, a crown for $300-plus dollars, and root canal treatments for more than $200 each. And that's at Western Dental (where I go), probably the cheapest in town--"pero hindi sosyal," said Dr. Cab.

And so if dental work here exceeds $900, better buy a round-trip ticket home.

Here there is no hair re-bonding like we know it in the Manila salons, run by Koreans. And there are Japanese re-bonding systems here, they are in the main cities and extremely expensive, like $750. (Almost a round-trip ticket home).

In the meantime, we color our hair from a box, and relax it with the African-American relaxing blend na ubod ng lakas.

When we lived in Pasig, we were a block away from Dr. Nazal's derma office, where a dermatologist will give you a thorough facial. There are no facials here. And Dr. Cab has to wait to pop her whiteheads (complete with steroid shot) when she takes her next trip home.

Well, she is in Philippines now--hopefully, doing everything we can't afford to do here in the land of opportunity. She said she missed the beach, barkada, and mountain-climbing.

"Doon, simple lang ang buhay kahit walang pera. After work, gimik with your friends," she said. "Dito, wala ka kayang maka-usap dahil sobrang pagod."

My 15.4-minute mile

2008-03-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

"We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." - Emil Zatopek, 1952 Olympic Marathon gold medalist

(photo by A.G Pennypacker)

Just this year, I was inspired to run. I still don't know exactly why--maybe it was my (more senior) friend's story of his 4th year running the Bay To Breakers San Francisco Annual Marathon. I thought, if he could do it, maybe so can I. Also, since this has been a time for stretching the boundaries of my mind and spirit, why not also stretch the capacity of my body--strengthening muscles that I did not know I had.

Even if I seemed athletic (I played varsity volleyball in high school, exercised most of my adult life, and played badminton seriously), I was always attracted to the seeming peace and solitude of running.

And so, on a treadmill I went, one night, after failing to complete many spinning classes.

At first, there was pain everywhere--my shins, my knees, my shoulders, and my neck, even at my back. I did about a third-of-a-mile and gave up. I was sore the next day.

To get rid of the soreness, I ran again, tyring to go for half a mile. After a week, I was surprised to have run longer without much effort. Soon, I was running a mile in 16 minutes. My Bay to Breakers friends told me that when I break a mile, all the pain will be gone. And he was right! As if the body had to protect itself, the endorphins probably kicked in and I was running more than a mile--without even thinking about it.

I ran better and longer with music so I borrowed my husband's and put my own play list in it, complete with Ricky Martin songs. I also got headphones, for TV listening. Currently, I am running 2 miles in 33 minutes. (I walk 1-minute in between).

I bike to the gym, which serves as my warm-up. My heart rate is up at 144 and I hold on to 136-140 range while running. It also takes about 3200 steps in a mile (confirmed by my pedometer). I haven't run outside yet but I will soon.

I have let this 5k training tips become my guide:

5-Week 5k Training Schedule

Week 1:

Monday - Run/Walk 15 minutes, Tuesday - Run/Walk 2 miles, Wednesday - Off, Thursday - Run/Walk 15 minutes, Friday - Off, Saturday - Run/Walk 25 minutes, Sunday - Off

Week 2:

Monday - Run 20 minutes, Tuesday - Run/Walk 2 miles, Wednesday - Off, Thursday - Run/Walk 20 minutes, Friday - Off, Saturday - Run/Walk 35 minutes, Sunday - Off

Week 3:

Monday - Run 25 minutes, Tuesday - Run/Walk 2 miles, Wednesday - Off, Thursday - Run/Walk 25 minutes, Friday - Off, Saturday - Run 30 minutes, Sunday - Off

Week 4:

Monday - Run 25 minutes, Tuesday - Run 2 miles, Wednesday - Off, Thursday - Run 30 minutes, Friday - Off, Saturday - Run 45 minutes, Sunday - Off

Week 5:

Monday - Run 20 minutes, Tuesday - Run 20 minutes, Wednesday - Off, Thursday – Run/Walk 15 minutes, Friday - Off, Saturday – Race Day, Sunday – Off

How to Wear It

2008-03-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

I have always been a casual dresser, much to my mom's frustration. But after getting hooked on my favorite shows now, What Not to Wear and Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, and Project Runway, I just might have a chance for a stylish, more mature (but not old) wardrobe, instead of sticking to jeans and tops, circa 1980's.

Many people say I look young. Maybe they mean I look stuck in college--and sometimes, that is not really a compliment. There comes a time in one's life, where looking young is not applicable. Instead, looking stylish and professional, or someone-to-take seriously, and respectable--may be the look I have to go for.

Jillian was my favorite in Project Runaway Season 4. She had classic but feminine lines.

She was creative and fashionable and subtle.

Many of the make-overs in What Not To Wear and Tim Dunn said that they just didn't think that looking good can make you feel infinitely better about yourself, specially on the inside. The make-overs usually end up with tears, as they couldn't imagine that it is easy to look good and they have actually forgotten about themselves.

I always thought that beauty should come from within. But after watching these shows almost daily, I am inclined to think that we must SHOW that beauty if it is from within, and share it with others.

I always thought that beauty was intimidating. I am realizing now that it can also be an inspiration to uplift many who may need a lift. No use hiding a bright and positive spirit in plain clothes and a retreating personality. I also know that everyone has beauty. You just have to radiate it.

Remember, the rules are: no baggy sweat suits, accent the waist (or the smallest part of the body), fit is very important, and add a punch of color. Also have those 10 wardrobe staples: a dressy white shirt, dressy black pants, a little black dress, etc. (I don't know it all yet)--check out Tim Dunn's site.

And as one of the stylists said, "You cannot control how the world perceives you. You can only control how you are presented."

Use Your Superpowers

2008-03-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

(photo by David Haggard of flickr.com)

I dreamed last night that we all had special gifts--superpowers, if you will. In my dream, these powers were high energy that we can use to lift others up, probably even save them.

I was compelled to write about what I learned from the dream. What a privilege to facilitate thought into word.

If you have beauty, use these powers to lift someone up. Hug someone, smile at everyone, ask what you can do to make their day beautiful like your gift. Lead them to see their own beauty, outside and in. If you are kind, help someone out randomly everyday. If you are smart, teach someone how to read or how to count or how to make a living. If you are musical, play music at your church or volunteer your talent to your church, just because. If you are wealthy, give to your favorite cause every month or start you own group to help out a cause. If you are healthy, give blood, give bone marrow, enlist to become an organ donor. If you are crafty, craft out your art to sell and fundraise for your cause.

Our superpowers can save the world.

How shall we use our superpowers today?

Oprah's Big Give

2008-03-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

Oprah's new show, Oprah's Big Give, aired last week at ABC. Ten finalists from all over the US arrived in Los Angeles for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. To win, each contestant must make dreams come true for total strangers and show the world that one person can make a big difference.

From helping out a widow and her two young daughters keep their home, to helping a special needs teacher secure a facility for her school, to scholarships for disadvantaged children, the contestants must find ways to help out these families in need, with only a $2500 initial fund.

The contestants came up with an average of $50k per collection. Find out who won this round and who went home. Check out the video here.

Also, if you have ideas on how to give big, share them here.

The show encourages us to think about what you can do in your neighborhood, in your town, in your family, among your friends. How you can touch someone's life? Come up with a fun way to raise cash or a creative way to give back without using money at all…and, of course, plan a big reveal.

Tell them your idea, and Nate just might show up at your door!

Counting My Blessings

2008-03-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

I have counted my struggles. And so to keep balanced, I must remember to count my blessings. Actually, I always do--I just don't get to write it. I guess it's easier to write when struggling and just keep the bliss to myself.

Though it is still officially winter, it is like Spring here off San Francisco. This is the reason we chose Northern California in the first place. The weather is beautiful! A Spring-looking day just like this calls for celebrating blessings, indeed!

Recently, R and I had many blessed days. After bringing our youngest to preschool, we ventured out to have breakfast together at our local diner, Sylvia's Country Kitchen. Sylvia's is always full for breakfast and brunch. They also won the best in Antioch Award for Breakfast service.

What a treat for R and I to have their chicken and avocado omelette burrito. The serving could have fed three, so we just split and took home the rest (for another breakfast at home). The breakfast burrito came with two sides--silver dollar pancakes and the homemade coffee-crunch muffins I like. For $15, I think we did well, as we were stuffed and the food was delicious. (I have to tell my Tito S, who loves Denny's, to re-think his favorite breakfast place. And I have told Uncle J to hang out here next time).

Because we had such a good start, the week yielded even more blessings.

R and I attended our first Filipino wedding (cousin of his business partner) in the Bay Area. It was a simple wedding, where the groom marinated his own barbeque (they own Kadoks BBQ, very popular BBQ joint in that side of the penninsula) and the bride made her own kakanin (the most delicious and home-made maja blanca, leche flan, Biko, and kuchinta I ever had--and I don't even eat Biko!). The people were simple but very friendly and generous--they sent us home with lots of cake and kakanin for the kids.

The wedding ended at 4 pm and since R and I were all dressed up with nowhere to go, we explored the City and ended up in Ghirardelli Square with the tourists. We were led to the hip seafood bar McClintock and Kuleto's, enjoyed the ambience, people-watching, and the calamari and wine--and promised to visit the city as often as we could, lest we forget how beautiful it is.
(We also realized that we had a phone camera!)

I realized we aren't so financially tight anymore, or maybe I just leave the budget to God, and He always makes it work. I learned to loosen up and enjoy more things, which leads to other nice pleasures, and more blessings. I learned to appreciate R--all his hard-work and the way he likes to enjoy life. We are blessed to have some flexi-time to enjoy the pleasures of life. We may not have much, but we have time to stop and smell the roses. . .and the coffee for breakfast.

When you count your blessings, you think of more--our kids are healthy and happy, we get to bring them to school (together, sometimes), we get to meet nice and generous people, and most of all, I am certain that God provides.

Count, count, count and enjoy your blessings. They will lead to more. . .

Random Acts of Kindness Week

2008-02-18T20:25:00.001-08:00

Did you know that February 10 to 17 has been declared Random Acts of Kindness Week?

I make a conscious effort to be kind. I hold doors open, specially for seniors. I have picked up stray animals and adopted them, I have helped strangers when my husband thought it was ridiculous or dangerous.

I have to work harder and do more kindness, even amidst our own struggles. And for this week, I will work at being kinder to my husband because sometimes I am too hard on him. . .

Do something kind today--and the challenge is not to let anyone know.

Here are some ideas from Acts of Kindness.Org:

Say hello, visit a friend, let another go first, forgive mistakes, share a smile, open the door, lend a hand, be tolerant, offer a hug, do an act of kindness everyday.

Have fun, be kind!

A Yummy Chocolate Education

2008-02-08T19:26:00.002-08:00

It has been said that chocolate is "food for the Gods," and why not? Chocolate can be glorious when the experience is full and right--from the intoxicating rich, dark chocolate smell to the swirling of a heavenly confusion of decadence and the feeling of being in love, to the many health benefits it brings.

Dark chocolate contains flavonoids that are known to protect the heart and lower blood pressure. It also contains theobromine, a mood-elevator. A study reported by the BBC indicated that melting chocolate in one's mouth produced an increase in brain activity and heart rate that was more intense than that associated with passionate kissing, and also lasted four times as long after the activity had ended.

However, consuming milk chocolate or white chocolate, or drinking fat-containing milk with dark chocolate, appears largely to negate the health benefit.

Chocolate residue found in several jars from the site of Puerto Escondido in Honduras, from around 1100 B.C. is the earliest evidence to date of the use of cacao. The name chocolate most likely comes from central Mexico, although it may have been influenced by the Mayans.

Today, I met Analee Herman. Daughter of an painter, Herman is an artist herself, proclaiming her medium to be chocolate. She introduced me to the pleasures of handmade truffles and her new venture, Bella Luna Gourmet Chocolate Truffles. She has perfected 4 truffle varieties: Intense Chocolate, Merry Mocha, Raspberry, and Coconut.

Each ganache filling is made of fresh cream and dark chocolate whipped together and then rolled into melted chocolate and dusted with either chocolate powder of toasted coconut flakes. She makes them as ordered, without preservatives or wax, found in other artisan chocolates.

Each truffle was an experience. It is rich, yet it melts in my mouth ever so lightly, as if swirling gently around my palate, never overwhelming. Even my camera was having a good time!

Be careful, chocolate can be addictive. But then again, why not?

Call Bella Luna Chocolates at (510) 821-1718. They do only wholesale, corporate or bridal accounts. The truffles will make wonderful gift basket stuffers or Valentine's Day gifts. XOXO

Waiting it out in marriage

2008-01-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

Unhappily married couples who divorce are no happier in the long run than their counterparts who remain married. said researcher Linda J. Waite of Beliefnet. This is because nearly two thirds of the couples who are unhappy in their marriages, describe their marriage as happy five years later, while unhappy people who divorce are most likely to still be unhappy. This seems to be true with couples who stayed together even when faced with problems as serious as infidelity or drug use. In fact, the more extreme the unhappiness, the more likely the marriage was to turn around. Of those who rated their marriage very unhappy, 8 out of 10 had found success with the same spouse five years later.

So I am forced to look at my 17-year old marriage in the mirror. Our first years were tough from the get-go. We had a baby right away and then my husband was hospitalized for a heart condition. Shuttling between the hospital and my newborn was not easy, add to that a financial crisis that my husband endured (probably this was what got him sick in the first place).

The next years were easier. Hinged on the business success of my husband, we seemed content. We had our third child, we were able to travel. We also adopted our daughter during that stretch.

We migrated to the States 3 years ago and the hardships started all over again. My husband found a back-breaking job that he was not used to and then got laid off from an office job. We did well on year 2 but this year seems quite challenging as we are back to square one and no stable jobs.

Financial difficulty is the thorn of our marriage. This year, we had numerous arguments about money. But actually, it is never about money. It is always about principles, values, discipline, respect, and hard work--and how different my husband and I view these.

I can't deny that there were times, I wondered if we were better off separately. But then, I thought, we would be poor separately, so what's the point? We then decided to work at together and iron out our differences.

During the downs, my spouse is heavy, and I sure feel like he is dragging me down. There were many tempting downs when I thought anywhere would be better than with him. Let's just say he fell short of my expectations. But then, after 17 years, have learned to lower my expectations. And he is open to suggestions--which is great! Through all the ups and downs, we know there will be ups soon.

Beliefnet said that the couples actively worked to solve the problems-for example, they sought counseling. In some they simply waited out the problem-the children grew up, a spouse landed a job-and in some the husband and wife took responsibility for finding happiness in other venues than the marriage. Yet the researchers also point out that most of the couples that describe themselves as unhappy in their marriages thought of those same marriages as happy five years earlier-and likely would again. In other words, most marriages go through prolonged periods of difficulty, but if the partners are committed to commitment as well as to each other, they are likely to come out happy with their relationship as years go by.

Wait it out with your spouse. Unless he is a physical threat to your life, my cousin said that there's really nowhere to go. Should you divorce your spouse, did you know that chances are big that you will attract the same kind of man, thus, have the same problems all over again--this time, with hurt children and stepchildren, ex-in laws, and disapproving new in-laws, with money problems again for sure and alimony to boot!

I know of someone who would have been still married had she waited a bit more for her husband to get on his feet after his Master's Degree. I know of another who, if she knew the hardships of separating from her husband, would have turned a blind eye. Now, she has lost custody of her kids, and her proper share of their properties. I also know many who divorce their spouses, only to marry the same kind of personality again (and again, for some).

I'd rather take my chances with my kids and and not bequeath to my husband the responsibility to be happy and well-off, for those are my responsibilities to myself.

Midtown Lunch.Com

2008-01-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Attention all New Yorkers and would-be East Coast tourists, check out Midtown Lunch.Com, a blog about cheap lunches Zach Brooks discovers around New York City.

The site is almost 2 years old and has about 2000 readers daily.

Way to go!

Also of note is Not Eating Out in NY, where a Brooklyn-ite, passionate about food and cooking, realized that everyone in New York was serving up essentially the same things, under different colored awnings.

And then check out Freegan Kitchen.Com, where the Filipino custom of pagpag gives rise to gourmet meals from the dumpster. (Well, maybe not!). Watch their dumpster diving adventures and delights in this video.

Bon Appetit!

John Muir Community Health Mobile Clinic

2008-01-14T13:04:00.000-08:00

For the underprivileged and uninsured, Saturday mornings at the Village Community Resource Center means free access to medical services and even medicines. Every Saturday, the John Muir Mobile Community Health Clinic faithfully rolls in and opens its van doors to adults and children who need urgent medical care.

A mother takes her 1-year old toddler in for asthma. An elderly woman seeks treatment for her back pain.

Catalina Estradi brought her 2-year old son, Ernesto, to see the doctor because of a lingering bad cough.

“I am here because of a sore throat,” said repeat patient and Brentwood resident Maria del Rocio Soriano. “They are nice and they treat me well,” she said in very slow and broken English.

On board today is John Muir Registered Labor and Delivery Nurse and qualified bi-lingual interpreter, Jackie Michaels. She welcomes the patients into the van and onto the designated exam rooms, where they treat an average of 20 patients a day, depending on the season.

“Winter is flu season,” says Michaels. “We held a flu clinic last month and gave about 200 flu shots.”

Michaels explained that the mobile clinic holds a staff of 4 volunteers (nurses and staff) and one doctor.

“Our services and meds are free,” said Michaels. “We are here for the working poor or the uninsured. We administer the urgent care that they need and refer them to the proper County health programs if they need it. We try to get them into the system, make sure that they get the follow through care that they need, and make sure that they don’t fall into the cracks.”

Hemo-dialysis Registered Nurse and volunteer Alma Pack quotes the Bible, “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

A full-time nurse at the John Muir facilities in Walnut Creek and Concord and at the Sutter Delta Dialysis Center, Pack is delighted to help out the mobile clinic’s patients while sharpening her Spanish-speaking skills. She has been volunteering every Saturday for two years.

Pleasant Hill private practitioner and family physician Dr. Patrick Jolin has been committed to the mobile community clinic for six years now.

“Sometimes, it’s better here because I don’t have to deal with the financial side of things, like going through insurance and collection,” said Jolin. “It’s great yet humbling to help people that I know need assistance and to try to make a difference in their lives.”

Jolin enumerates respiratory infections, diabetes and high blood pressure care as the more popular ailments he treats and explains that they dispense limited urgent care, referring emergency cases to hospitals.

“I may be treating them, but the patients teach me a lot in terms of the struggles they go through in terms of health, without much economic resources,” said Jolin.

The John Muir Mobile Community Health Clinic comes to the Village Community Resource Center at 633 Village Drive, Brentwood, on Saturdays, from 9 a.m. to 12 noon. Call (925) 513-3107 for more details.

Happenings at our small town

2007-12-28T17:16:00.000-08:00

Check out some happenings around our town. These are what I like to write about--these goings-on in the community. I get to meet the movers and shakers. In fact, here, the Mayor walks simply among all of us townspeople, so does our Senator. (I should muster up guts to ask them pose for a pic--with me!)

Community Mourns Death of Teen

Santa for Seniors

Olio Bello d’Olivo.

Sticky Chicken and Ribs.

For more details, go to The Brentwood Press.

CNN Heroes

2007-12-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

For those of us thirsting for a meaningful Christmas and meaning in the world, CNN Heroes Presentation was like a drinking fountain, with cool and sweet water runneth.

From a nun who runs a boarding school for abducted and raped girls in Uganda, to a dentist who gives free treatment in Kenya for a 60,000 people ratio, to a Cambodian ex-prostitute who no spends her life rescuing young girls sold to brothels, to a 10-year old boy with leukemia who goes around the USA, collecting swabs of DNA for a bone marrow bank, to a Cuban woman who organized a dignified living for the poor collecting garbage, thus producing the most efficient organic garden from proper segregation--so many ordinary people doing extraordinary things to better the world.

Only a year after he was diagnosed with leukemia, 12-year-old Pat Pedraja began a one-kid mission to change the makeup of the nation's bone marrow registry. He persuaded his family to get a bus and drive cross-country to encourage minorities like himself to become marrow donors.

In just three months, Pedraja raised more than $100,000 and helped sign up more than 5,000 people to the registry. He plans to tour next summer, too.

"People don't know that it's such a big issue," he said. "People are dying each day, and people aren't informed about that, and I want to change that."

Visit the link here and view the whole list of the most extraordinary people who will remind us that there is a hero in each of us, too.

What is the Story of Stuff?

2007-12-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

Creator Annie Leonard says, "You cannot run a linear system of stuff on a finite planet."

Find out why inspite of a deluge of consumer goods, we are still unhappy.

Enjoy the straightforward documentary with simple animation but a most powerful message. Watch the Story of Stuff here.

Look around for better alternatives. Get involved.

Britt Bravo's 10 Holiday Gifts that give back

2007-11-16T10:04:00.000-08:00

Check out Britt Bravo's blog entry Ten Holiday Gifts that Give Back--a wonderful short-list of resources for meaningful gifts that will help change the world for the better.

I have interviewed a couple of people who sent out notes asking for no more gifts this year, stressing that "we have everything we need and want." Instead, they encourage their friends and family to choose their favorite charitable institution and make a donation on their behalf.

I have been an advocate of this kind of gift-giving early on. I have checked out Global Girlfriends.com and bought hip accessories for my friends from them. I am also glad that the proceeds go back to women artisans in third-world countries who are ensured fair trade and wages.

Kiva.org is an organization that helps us make small loans out (as small as $25) to start-up micro-businesses like selling charcoal, helping a seamstress buy a sewing machine, or seed money for a crafting or knitting group.

My mom donates to a children's hospital that helps out sick children. World Vision sponsors orphaned children for $35 a month.

There are also earth-friendly gifts you might want to consider, like Your Own Bags.Com. Giving these as gifts will encourage your friends and family to use reusable bags and save landfill space and keep our marine life safer.

We can also look into out local communities and help out struggling non-profits with our donations/gifts on behalf of our gift list. We can also organize collection points or encourage our community towards a donating project. One Warm Coat.org asks only for warm winter coats and sweaters for adults and children. Our local contact is Jaime Pearson at (925) 997-8117. She will collect used coats all throughout November.

I don't many winter coats, in fact I only have at a time. Since I am ready to buy a new one, my 10-year old black wool coat will now have a good place to go. With many more warm years on her, I am sure she will keep someone else warm for a couple more years.

Mountains of Candy

2007-11-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

I love small ideas that snowball into something bigger than ever expected. This is solid proof of something way bigger than just us. This is a testament on how the Universe opens up doors and roads to get things done if we put our heart into it.

I saw it first-hand with the candy drive of Laurie Restani in partnership with Kids Helping Kids' director Laura Page. Laurie and Laura thought of donating Halloween left-over candy to the troops in Iraq to sweeten their Christmas care packages. She called out for left-over candy collection points in 5 schools in Discovery Bay, Byron, and Brentwood.

What happened next is the miracle. Kids gave so much candy, collection had to be made daily. Last November 9, they filled 2 cars and 1 van with candy and transported them for packing in Excelsior Middle School, where about 100 students and parent-volunteers were waiting to help out.

"I have never seen so much candy," said Laurie. They collected about 1000 pounds of candy.

Local business came out to help out with their generous candy and supply donations. Kids Helping Kids provided pizza and soda for the packing groups.

6270 bags of candy, along with homemade greeting cards with support messages for the troops, were packed and delivered to the Blue Star Moms of Danville, who will ship out the candy bags.

What an amazing opportunity to see divine forces at work. Everyone and everything just came together. How people just came out to help, how the kids seized this opportunity to make a difference, how the Blue Star Moms will take the next leg to ship the candy, how the troops' spirits will be lifted by these thoughtful tokens, how the whole project snowballed into a success bigger than anyone expected.

"I was expecting to collect only about 500 bags of candy," said Laura. "I am humbled and overwhelmed by the community support and generosity."

"It's amazing how my small idea to collect excess Halloween candy got so big. It all started when when I was helping Kids helping Kids pack back packs for children in Africa for Christmas. We had some leftover candy and Laura offered to donate it all to the Blue Star Moms when she heard about their care package program for Christmas. That's when the idea came to me. All the caring people helped make it happen. It was great to see what we could do when we all come together for a good cause." - Laurie Restani

Simply Remembering

2007-11-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

Look, no eating, no gambling, no karaoke, no vendors allowed.

For truly, remembering is an all-year round thing--a solemn reminder that our beloved dead will always be a part of our living lives.

Paper or Plastic? Reusable !

2007-10-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

Though plastic bags are convenient and cheap, they do not biodegrade; they only photodegrade. That process, in which sunlight breaks down plastic into smaller and smaller pieces, can take up to a thousand years.

Plastic bags use up natural resources, consume petroleum in order to be manufactured, create litter, choke marine life and add to landfill waste.

Paper bags, though biodegradable, take more than four times as much energy to manufacture (which in turn produces greenhouse gases) than plastic bags. In 1999, 14 million trees were cut down to produce the 10 billion paper grocery bags used by Americans in that year alone.

Nations such as Australia, Ireland, Italy, South Africa, Taiwan, India and Bangladesh have banned plastic bags or have imposed taxes on them in an effort to clean up their environment.

San Francisco is the first city in the United States to ban the use of plastic bags. The ordinance was passed last March and will take effect soon. In place of plastic bags, the city is advocating reusable, biodegradable bags.

I have taken to using re-usable bags to the grocery. Most of the time, I still forget them but it was just a matter of getting used to. Now I pack my groceries with pride, knowing I am keeping plastic bags away from the landfill. Many people come to ask me where I got them. I just point them to the right direction as every grocery store here sells them for 99 cents each, with a credit of 6 cents when you use them in-store.

Check out the whole article at The Antioch Press. See you there!

A Community Library for Children

2007-10-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

Opened only on Saturdays, the children's community library in Baranggay Paltok has been a highlight of the children in the area.

The kids are most eager, lining up early, for the story-telling sessions, and of course, to browse the many colored picture books:

I will try to find out how we can send them more books for their library.

Willy's Bagels

2007-10-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

I did an interview with the Richardson family--Ron and Karen and their kids, Ryan, Scott and Julie, owners of Willy's Bagels & Blends in Brentwood.

I personally like bagels since my friend, M, taught me how to eat it with cream cheese and orange juice for breakfast when we were young and poor and New York. Since then, I have dreamed of opening a bakery in Tagaytay, Philippines when I retire. I have tried to make bagels twice in my life and to say that I was not successful means that the onion and garlic bagels that I so tenderly kneaded came out like rocks (but softer on the inside) and only my husband was kind enough to eat them!

I was blown away by the bagel showcase at Willy's: Plain. Blueberry. Sesame. Egg. Garlic. Whole Wheat. Poppy. Onion. Cinnamon Raisin. Salt. Jalapeno. Sourdough. Chocolate Chip. New York. Of course there was the Everything Bagel sprinkled with poppy, sesame, and sunflower seeds.

Their bagels are bigger and heftier, dough-y and specially made for sandwiches, but will definitely stand alone anytime, but better with their shmears (flavored cream cheeses) all the time.

There are also other goodies like danish and cookies and fresh-fruit smoothies.

The coffee is a special house-blend, roasted just for Willy's. They boast of a full range of coffee blends--from espressos to white chocolate mochas. And their prices are way more affordable than coffee chains.

I put their brewed house-blend to the test to fully investigate its flavors and undertones. Their coffee is mild and smooth and none of the acidic-sour taste of bigger chains. I enjoyed that cup of coffee a lot, and with my Homemade Chicken Salad on an Asiago Bagel sandwich for lunch, I was very happy.

There's something for everyone at Willy's. I saw a couple of kids enjoy their Chocolate Chip Bagels with cream cheese and chocolate milk. There were a couple of ladies who were lunching out.

A true family-owned and operated business, dad Ron said that everyone can "do everything." That means, each of them can bake, can sell, can clean, or run the stores. I could feel their tight bond as a family, where the children actually take a genuine interest in their parents' business and work ethics.

They are very much involved with the Brentwood community, raising funds for scholarships, hosting events, and even providing on-the-job-training for youth with special needs.

The Richardson family--Karen and Ron (front) and kids
Julie, Scott, and Ryan

Visit their new branch at 390 West Country Club Drive, Brentwood or call (925) 308-7534.

Cheers!

A Note from the Universe

2007-10-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

(picture from flickr.com by openlens1)

First, as a child, it seems like the entire world is there for you and you rush to drink from its every cup, sometimes wondering to yourself how anything could ever be more fun.

Then, as you grow older, if you're observant, you realize much of what you enjoy was made possible by the contributions, work, and labor of those who came before you, and you're taken aback, disappointed even , because with maturity you can now see cracks in the façades, imperfections in the details, and 10,000 ways it could have all been done better.

At which point, folks typically choose one of two paths: Spend a lifetime lamenting how far from perfect things are. Or, to one degree or another, roll up their sleeves and pitch in.

And should they choose the latter with gusto, dear Minotte, they will come to know, to the core of their sacred being, that the differences they might make in the world cannot be made by another. And then they will discover the answer to their often-wondered childhood question.... That the most fun one can have in time and space comes from making such a difference, and that the joy derived from serving is 10,000 times that of being served.

At your service -
The Universe

Candlelight Books update

2007-10-01T15:23:00.001-07:00

Thank you, Candlelight Books!

It was a sunny day on July 18 when members of the South Upi Project Management Team (PMT) went to Cotabato City to receive a back-to-school present from Candlelight Books, USA. The drive from South Upi to Cotabato took 4 hours of travel on rough terrain but the trip was well worth it for 250 colorful and nearly-brand-new storybooks were waiting for new homes in the municipality’s elementary schools. The books were a gift from Candlelight Books, an initiative run by Ms. Minotte Cuenca from California, USA, to bring storybooks and learning materials to needy communities in the Philippines.

Colored story and picture books from Antioch, California donors and neighbors.

The members of the PMT were very pleased when the big balikabayan box revealed an assortment of books, pictures and even toys for storytelling. They were very excited especially since the need for such materials was raised to Synergeia during the teachers’ training held in April. Synergeia informed the group that unlike the first shipment of books, all Candlelight Books donations were sent to one municipality for this batch - to achieve scale and wider impact.

Children reading their local mimeographed textbooks.

The PMT held a meeting to discuss the mechanics of the storybook distribution. They decided to prioritize schools that already have existing mini-libraries to ensure that the books will be utilized and be maintained properly. Timaan Central School received 114 books while Pandan Elementary School received 130 books.

Students were very happy when the books were brought to class for reading sessions. Their eyes were bright with wonder upon seeing brightly colored pictures and reading about stories from other lands. Teachers expressed their deepest thanks to Candlelight Books and Synergeia, for providing them with these materials.

Existing library at South Upi School in Mindanao--mimeographed, old and uninteresting reading material

The PMT looks forward to helping the rest of the 31 elementary schools in South Upi to put up their own reading corners and libraries, with the support of partners.

Alvin Palao, Site Coordinator, South Upi, Maguindanao

South Upi, a fourth class municipality in the province of Maguindanao, is one of the newly opened programs of Synergeia in the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM). There are 1,312 grade one pupils in the municipality participating in a Synergeia reading program, which is supported by Telengtan Foundation. Half of the town is located along the coastal areas while the other half are locate in upland communities. Because of this topography, children have to travel several kilometers everyday to go to school. 90% of classes are multi-grade, meaning students from grades 1 to 3 are grouped in one class, as with grades 4 to 6. In an assessment examination, 9 out of 10 pupils can only read 3 out of 10 words correctly.

Everyone has a prejudiced thought

2007-09-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

I covered a sort of People's Power--small-town Antioch-style, with about 350 people in attendance. What struck me was the diversity of our community that I was not really aware of until now.

Jewish, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, were only some of the religious organizations that came out to show support for the recent "hate-crimes" in the county. The Muslim mosque was burned down and vandalized, an African-American family's home was ransacked and a deaf man was attacked.

It was poignant to see the community get together in support. Many walked side-by-side, making new friends, expanding their horizons. Many have said, "An attack of one faith is an attack of all faiths." Check out the article here and don't forget to check out the slide show. Photos by my friend , Richard Wisdom.

Tolerating diversity is one thing. But truly ridding our hearts of prejudice is another.

I remember getting into the way of a road rager. He called me a "dumb ass." I shouted back "pig" because he was fat. (But my husband is well, kinda overweight). And that lady in the grocery store, who scolded me, without even asking for an explanation. When I tried to explain, she told me "talk to the hand." I called her "Ugly" among other things in Tagalog and challenged her to take the fight outside in the parking lot. And the gay person who put me down so he could take the credit at work? Well, you can imagine what I called him. . .And yet, one of my closest friends is gay.

And I realized, we all have our own prejudices. Really, we do. Search deep down and you will find it--appearance, weight, race, religion, adoption, second wives, sexual preference, intellectual capacity, and even employment status can be used against you.

So I'm thinking, getting along with the diverse people in America is still a veneer. From the outside, we are polite, tolerant, even kind. But when they step on our rights or insult us, don't we fight back with racist or prejudiced comments all at once?

Senator Tom Torlakson was right when, at the rally, he said, we are taught these prejudices. We have to show our children to treat each other equally, with respect and love.

Even when they put you down or insult you. . .

Sign up anonymously and tell me your prejudices.

Getting Ready for Peace

2007-09-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

Statistics are out in the East County. Out of the 118,000 population in Antioch, 30% are Caucasian, 30% Hispanic, 23% are African American, 6% are Filipino, 5% are Asian, 5% are others.

A couple of hate crimes have happened in the East County. The Muslim mosque was deliberately set on fire and a family in Brentwood found their home ransacked and spray-painted with hate messages. Lately, a group of deaf teens were attacked.

As a response to all these, the East County United Group and the Interfaith Peace Project got together to stage a rally on September 23, to promote peace and tolerance.

Read the article here.

As Interfatih Peace Project representative June Kirk said, "I think peace begins at home. We need to come together as a community in love and support and tolerance for one another.

If you believe in peace, join the rally tomorrow. See the article for details.

Thoughts Become Things

2007-09-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

photo from Linguist Wannabe (flickr.com)

Have you read The Secret yet?

I have read it cover to cover last month and now, I am reading it again. Sometimes, I read a book many times, finding that every time I read it, I find something else.

The Secret taught me about the Law of Attraction--that you attract into your life what you think about, positively or negatively. If you think that you will never make it, you won't. If you think you will not become rich with the work you do, you won't.

So we writers say, "No one gets rich writing." Is it a shock that I am not rich now?

We should always think about the things we like to attract them like a magnet.

"Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones. . ."

I am examining my life. I reflect about everything I have right now and The Secret could be right.

When I was young, I wanted to be a teacher (done that), a stewardess (done that) and to have my own family (doing that). I wished with all my heart that I could have happy, healthy, loving children that I will prioritize over a career (done that). And so, though sometimes, being married and raising 5 of them is hard, I make decisions everyday to reinforce my dream family.

And I am having it now. I am grateful and on my knees that I have what is important to me right now, walang labis, kulang ng konti in the financial side.

At this point, I see myself retiring in Tagaytay. I knew that when it took me 3 years to pay for a small lot there. Where we will get the money to build, I don't know. But then again, I didn't know where the money came for the lot either. But the money came.

The Law of Attraction says that the money came because I thought of retiring there and worked towards it. The Universe opens the windows of opportunity for all of us to get what we want. Kinda like in the movie, the Matrix-- guiding Neo away from the agents. So when they say you are in the right place at the right time, the law is in action. The Universe shows you the way, gives you the resources, and the introduces you to the right people to guide you towards your path.

In our last day-off, my friend, N, and I discussed The Secret. We know that there is One Source that always was, always will be. And it makes sense that this Source is abundant and generous, that it shouldn't be a shame to ask.

And though we kinda know the theories behind the new mindset, living them out is another story.

We realize that there are many things to unlearn. For my part, I should unlearn to avoid richness and saying that I have money because somehow, when I was young, I learned that being too rich is bad, specially if you did not work hard for it. So when I had money, I hid it (still do).

I have to learn that money is good, specially if you could use it to share or serve. . .

I have to unlearn that being the best you can be is not being boastful or arrogant. You can do your best and still remain humble. I have to accept that I have the potential to make a lot of money and go for it.

Though I am very blessed, I find that it is quite difficult to unlearn the things I am afraid of. And these fears limit me.

Let me try to wish for a cruise for me and my kids. I didn't dare wish for it because other people might think it is frivolous. I want to learn who the "other people" are. They are the faceless critics I hear in my head--sometimes it's an aunt, sometimes a grandmother, sometimes a bad experience with a rich classmate in high school. I am also sure that if good and abundant things come to me, they will not feel bad. It is all in my head!

I also didn't dare wish for the cruise because it might come true. I realize that I was afraid of it. Until I heard the story of a family who went on a cruise and gained memories to last a lifetime.

What are your thoughts? Have they become things?

Lighting Up the World

2007-09-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

Rolex Laureate 2002 award-winning electrical engineer Dave Irvine-Halliday is a man with a mission: bringing light to homes, schools, and temples throughout the developing world.

In 1997, at a colleague’s invitation, electrical engineer Dave Irvine-Halliday spent his sabbatical leave from Canada’s University of Calgary in Nepal, helping the University of Tribhuvan in Kathmandu launch its electrical engineering degree.

(David Irvine-Halliday)

While there, he took a side trip into the heart of the Himalayas, on a trek along the Annapurna Circuit. Along the way, he visited a small village where he noticed that children were forced to study in the dark—or more likely, were not able to study at all—after the sun went down because there was no electricity.

Irvine-Halliday saw the light in his mission. If you were his wife, would you allow him to pour your family’s entire life savings, and the maximum limit on three credit cards into an organization that would Light Up the World?

Yes! Apparently, you would!

Working from his lab at the University of Calgary, he devised a plan for bringing low-cost lighting to villages without any reliable power supply: He would create energy with a pedal-powered generator, a hydro generator, or solar panels, then run lines into homes and connect them to low-energy (LED)lamps. In 1999, Irvine-Halliday went back to Nepal with his wife and one of his two grown sons to try out his idea. It worked.

By the end of 2001, Irvine-Halliday’s rechargeable, battery-powered, white LED cluster lamps were illuminating more than 700 homes, schools and other community buildings in remote villages in Nepal, India and Sri Lanka.

Today’s high-brilliance, white LED lamps can light a Nepalese village of 60 households consuming the same amount of energy as a single 100-watt light bulb in a Canadian home.

Light Up The World is not only donating light to the very poorest, but is also promoting job creation and assuring long-term viability for the project.Irvine-Halliday founded, financed, and turned-over Pico Power Nepal, a LED manufacturing firm, to Nepalese locals to ensure its sustainability and to generate employment and income in the area.

The average "one-time" cost of equipping a home with lighting is set to fall below $40. Not to mention the environmental benefits the system has versus the 300 million batteries discarded in Nepal each year, makes for truly a brighter alternative.

Light from kerosene lamps is poor, inefficient and unsafe. Toxic fumes inhaled because of close proximity to the lamp cause respiratory illness. Kerosene lamps also cause many fire catastrophes, burning both homes and bodies.
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Check out the countries Light Up the World Foundation has impacted here.

Irvine-Halliday defines his success in his interview:

"I suppose success is when the 2 billion people in the world presently without any electricity of any sort actually have some form of safe, healthy, and affordable lighting. . .Light the Wolrd has refocused my life. I am turning 60 and this, without a doubt, is the next chapter in my life."

How can we change the world today?

Better Impessions of Manila

2007-08-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

Lest many think that Manila is just about squatters, take a look at the better impressions I got. There are actually so many, I will start with one or two, as I have pressing deadlines for the paper.

I browsed Market!Market! at the boundary of Makati and Taguig. Don't forget to grab your many arts and crafts for souvenirs at their tiangge. Their mall area has all the local and international boutiques that you will like to explore.

What caught my eye and heart was the very special place for carts bearing different delicacies from around the Philippines. Dried mangoes and broas from Cebu, tawilis and salinas tuyo from Batangas, everything you can do with Pili Nuts from Bicol, pastillas from Bulacan, Peanut Brittle, Ube, and Strawberry Jam from Baguio, and every kakanin you can conceive of!

The dancing fountain is their respite for the hot summer (albeit typhoon) months.

Make sure you get your fill at Market! Market! next time you are in Manila.

Galing!

What Do You Really Want to Do with Your Life?

2007-08-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

Riding home with my eldest cousin and his wife, my kuya explained that, though in transition, he had a plan for his retirement, and ultimately with his life.

Theirs seem to be a model partnership, with 3 healthy and bright children, reasonable career paths and most of the comforts of life. I was excited to resonate with my kuya, who felt that there is something out there that needs to fulfill his life. He is working towards a business, with extreme care and commitment. This business he treats as his legacy to his kids and to the world--his path to giving back according to his gifts.

With my cousins, I have found a common ground: We all want to serve. And we are all testing our directions. I admire my cousin for his endurance and faith in these times of uncertainty for him. With a solid corporate background for many years in Finance, entrepreneurship must be quite an adjustment for him.

I look around all the gifts I have and I am truly grateful. And because I am overwhelmed at having everything I actually dreamed of, I too, am compelled to give back. There is that nagging feeling that I must do more. I keep postponing it for "when the kids are grown."

Though my biggest mission is to raise my kids to the best of my ability remains to be my main mission, I realized that I must discern my bigger "give back" mission to serve NOW. All my kids will never be actually truly grown, with my youngest now only 4 years old. I realized I might run out of time. But wait, Cory Aquino claimed her destiny to be Philippine president at age 50 or so, and my idol Cheche Lazaro started her broadcasting career at about the same age.

Meanwhile, check out Oprah's What Do You Really Do With Your Life? for some inspiration. Women of all career paths and ages took leaps of faith, many times, not knowing where. And yet, by doing so, they found themselves nearer their joy and their true life's calling.

Do you know yet the person you were meant to be?

Squatter Demolition

2007-08-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

I went through mixed emotions as I witnessed the demolition of squatter shanties by my mom's condo in Buendia. Word was, MMDA had given the squatters under the bridge 6 months to relocate. The illegal squatters were causing floods in Buendia towards Taft, making the river beneath them their personal garbage can.

The squatters ran the river's edge. Here, you can see why aside from their being illegal residents, their lack of reverence for the environment causes big problems:

The MMDA trucks came in full force and there was resistance from the squatters. The trucks dredged that thick mud-like mound from the sewers from under the bridge.

The squatters started throwing big rocks, protesting that they were not "mga hayop na ipinagtatabuyan." But then they did not act after the warning and did not take advantage of the proposed relocation to Taguig.

I salute the MMDA for giving the squatters another week to take their shanties down and find a legal place to live. If the residents took their homes down themselves, they get to keep the building materials with them. Whatever MMDA sees by next week, they will demolish.

It was kind of strange to see through the squatters' homes from above--almost like doll-houses, but in a sad and viscious state. It was quite astonishing how so many of them can live in such a small space:

So, here again are the residents taking their shanties apart. My biggest concern is that they were throwing all their garbage into the river again, for the MMDA to clean up. It was very sad to see the river. . .

Indeed a deep-rooted problem, the demolition just spurred the squatters to move to the next-door empty lot:

What do you feel about squatter demolitions?

Back from Manila

2007-08-22T12:39:00.001-07:00

Got back from Manila yesterday and I am still disoriented, waking at 4:17 a.m. today, with nagging hunger pangs that I decide to feed.

I was amazed to find the quiet dawn at our kitchen quite comforting. It is quiet and dark and very cool—a sharp contrast from the blazing 90’s at mid-day.

Jet lag may very well be my inspiration to assess my first trip back to Manila as an immigrant. I found that that whirlwind of a trip was actually defining, validating, and clarifying to me.

At first, I was hesitant to go home to Manila. Me, the reluctant immigrant, who didn’t want to leave the comforts and frills of home to uproot my 5 children. I did not want to leave the household help (one of my aunts now has 10—I can actually enumerate them but suffice it to say that the houseboy has an assistant, and 2 of them are “pensionadas,” too old to really work but get their loyalty awards for being with the family for many years), the support of many relatives and solid friendships, the long-drawn out lunches with my girlfriends, threshing out our life’s purpose and some gossip, the thriving men’s wear business I built from scratch, the cozy community we lived in had a pool and a salon downstairs. Oh, the salons in Manila—complete with the masahistas for home service, Lani, our ever-loyal one, still charges roughly $7 for one hour to sawa (when the cheapest massage you can get in the States is $60 an hour). Aside from healing massage, she now does bleaching, waxing, and my current favorite, eyebrow threading. I cannot explain to you the lift that eyebrow threading gives to my psyche, as my eyes look lifted and the signs of USA fatigue are threaded away.

What goes around comes around. From converting pesos to US dollars when we got to America, we couldn’t even splurge at the local McDonald’s. Now, I join the many overseas workers and expats in the pleasure of multiplying US dollars times 46 to get unbelievable extended value for my hard-earned money. Shopping in Tutuban and 168 has been given new heights, and strolling in the Mall of Asia has been quite exhilarating, specially because we were able to watch Bourne Ultimatum in the big screen for about $3!

Only in the Philippines can we find ourselves having lunch at their Dampa (fresh sea food picked and cooked while-you-wait) version, then pondered on what movie to watch, considering Razon’s halo-halo or coffee after the movie. Never nagyayari sa US of A ang mga ganito, because, though there may be lots of money to be made, there is never enough time to hang around.

So when my fellow balikbayan brother and sister-in-law got home from our Mall of Asia field trip, we dropped in the neighborhood salon for waxing and threading. My brother got a home massage because he was sore from badminton the day before. What can beat that?

Coming home as an immigrant means keeping your eyes wide open. Every experience is amplified. I noticed that all my friends have proper haircuts and nary a gray strand showing. Heck, even Lani, the masseuse, goes to her own neighborhood salon for her highlights when she is stressed. (I was probably the only one with gray strands showing in the whole Metro Manila!) At the same time, I wanted to hug everyone who greeted me “hello, ma’m-sir!” even if that was all they seemed to do all day. Walang ganyan sa States, ika nga. What I used to take for granted has become precious—the Sunday lunch reunions, small talk, catching up, buying sampaguita from the streets. I know that we are hospitable and warm as a people but to actually see everyone smiling just because and in spite of, was actually profoundly touching.

Every now and then, there was an urge for me to multi-task on
something and I had to restrain myself, willing myself to relax and just take it slow, while making kukot something to eat and making kuwento.

Traffic in Manila forces us to take it slow because there is no choice. What with the rains and floods, my brother spent 3 hours getting from Sucat to Pasay. He almost got culture-shocked out of his wits. For a few inches and a half, fellow drivers will ram their hood into small spaces with nowhere to go. We also forgot that pedestrian lanes don’t count and couldn’t slow down for crossing citizens.

I had to turn down a couple of lunch engagements that begged to become merienda sessions because I wanted to get a massage. My friends have been very understanding. They know that I did not have the stamina for socials as I did not have my own car to drive anymore and my emotional and physical batteries needed recharging with alone time and only quality bonding, with my tita and Lani, working on the dead skin on my feet:

At any given time, there is a beautician--manicurist, hairstylist, waxer and bleacher, and masseuse--in my tita's house:

It was time to go, time to pack. The first trip back to Manila has been interesting. My brother was itching to get back to New Jersey, two days after he got in. He said he expected more from this first trip back. I was surprised that I was quite ready to get back to California, too. I missed my kids and my husband.

I realized that in spite of all the frills of Manila, home is where my kids laugh, where my husband awaits, where I worry by the porch for my boys to come in from school or work, where my girls fill the fridge with the prettiest drawings of princesses that look like me. Home is where your real bed and sheets and towels are, where your garden grows, where you know the grocery aisles by heart, and where you know what the prevailing price of gasoline is.

And here I am, back in the kitchen table, waiting for them to awake. I think that though life in the States is difficult, we have made the right decision. We do things as a family and our precious free time, we spend together. My hair may have no highlights, but the highlight of my day is spent with my family. We rarely watch movies in the theater and we hardly eat out, so we rent movies from Blockbuster and buy tons of microwave popcorn and watch together.

My older boys are poised for University and Film Academy soon. That in itself makes all the sacrifices worth it. What with tuition fees in Manila running to one hundred thousand apiece, my younger kids get to go for free in our efficient California public schools.

As my brother said, sanayan lang. Give us two years in any place in the world and the challenge is to adjust with what we have at hand. I think migrating has given us character and resiliency—very precious gifts, just as hard-earned as the US dollar.

I have to run now, because the sprinkler system has turned on and my newspaper will be soaked if I don’t fetch it.

Some Articles

2007-07-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd point you out to some of the more interesting articles of mine to date:

It was the first time I attended a poetry reading session. It was quite fun, inspiring, nurturing to any kind of artist. Check out Brentwood Open Mic Poetry Reading and find out why one can never be too old to write poetry.

The United States of America is actually as varied as the countries of the world. And why not? A melting pot of different cultures, immigrants comprise about 33 million of the population--and that was as of 2002.

It's no wonder that even in far out Antioch, CA, the community has become more diverse than ever. Farmlands have slowly but surely given way to new residential and commercial developments. Check out what Independence Day means to some of these immigrants as Diverse Community Celebrates Independence Day.

And of course, one of my favorites, Read To Dogs, where, because of strict regulations of photographing children only with written consent and release from parents, I had my own daughters pose for the picture. Taking them along was such a good decision. They had a great time as Selena, at 8 years, reads at a 6th Grade level, and Monica, at 3, is the cutest listener!

I was just thinking how I will not be able to write for a month as I will be in Manila, fixing some property legalities. And how it has been quite fun so far to be writing about the community and its people.

I have met so many of them, some I have gotten to know quite well. I realized that to write well, you must be genuinely interested in people and the commonalities amongst us. Many tell me I ask the right questions. I think it's more that I listen to them genuinely, they end up telling me more than they should!

Be Aware of Blessings

2007-07-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

Really, when you ask, you shall receive.

And sometimes, even when you don't ask, good karma (just like bad karma) has a way of finding you when it's time for an upgrade.

Consider that a bigger house with patio overlooking a most beautiful rose garden, 2 blocks from the community pool and park, appeared from nowhere when it was time for us to leave our modest old home. Consider that the bigger home was new and clean and spacious, and affordable, just $50/month more in rent, when really houses like these rent for much, much more.

The rose garden soothes me daily, and the patio gives us lots of extra space and shade. We harvest organic strawberries when it is in season. There is so much beauty in this space.

I heard myself asking, "What did we do to deserve this?"--half-scared that it was a fluke. I heard squealing in thanksgiving and then stopping myself and holding my breath kasi baka maudlot.(blessing might go away if you brag about it). But then I'm thinking udlot might be a way of not trusting God. For why would we think that He would give us a blessing but take it away when we acknowledge it?

Consider that my dad agreed to transfer a sentimental property into our names. We spent many summers and Christmases in Baguio. My brothers and I decided to keep it, lest my dad sell or mortgage it to someone else and we will never see it again. The fact that we have the means to keep the property is a huge blessing.

Consider that I am going to get to visit Manila to fix this transfer. I have been eager-but-scared to visit. My running joke is I might not want to come back to the US after I get a massage in Manila, not to mention manicures, pedicures, foot spas, hair color, re-bond, a real salon haircut. I had no plans (nor funds) to go home and I couldn't imagine leaving work (and pay) here. But I guess this is called "God's Perfect Time." And when the universe finds you, it gives you matching funds and a booking in this season of full flights.

You know they are blessings when they come easy, unexpected, like a pleasant surprise. Sometimes, doubt sets in: "Is the property really worth all the trouble?" "How will I get back my expenses?" "Do we really deserve this new house?"

Blessings keep coming. I am the only photographer who shoots her pictures just feet from the subject. My colleagues (they have become my friends), come in with intimidating zoom lens and can shoot inconspicuously from afar. Here comes a friend who want to get rid of his zoom lens because he never uses it. He gave me a deal that I couldn't resist. Talk about an upgrade. Now, I can shoot from afar, too, and not be shooed away by security.

I was doubting where I will source my funds from. Then I made a decision to use a cash gift from my father-in-law last Christmas. I was saving it for something special and concrete. Here it is.

Well, I say ditch your doubt with prayers and kind deeds. Doubt is throwing cold water on your blessings. And you don't want to do that, do you? Just as your spirits must not dampen if it rains on your birthday party, you must be creative about going around the situation. If it rains, you will find a tent, go indoors, wait a bit, make the most of it.

I think so should it be with blessings. When you hear the Lord say, "time to do it," trust that He will give you the resources (even if you want to conserve it), to pursue the blessings. Or else, you should be creative in finding resources on your own, could also be exciting and glorifying God. Trust that you deserve it. Trust that He will replenish you. And don't believe the old thinking that God wants us to suffer, be poor, and be unjustly deprived.

Consider that my husband has been laid-off work. We went through depression and doubt. But my husband has become positive lately. And though, he has no job yet, I am dead sure that he will find one.

I realized that I trust the Lord so much in times of hardship. I must learn to trust the Lord just as well in times of abundance. That way, I see and feel the Lord everywhere--in the photos that I take, in the people that I meet--some at the exact time that I need assurance. Some say the exact things I need to hear to go on, some at the exact position to refer my husband to a job.

I look for signs--literally--in the BART, in the bus, in the highway. Sometimes, messages and blessings are reinforced through sign boards. Remember, God is everywhere. We must learn to look and listen and ask.

When a good thing comes, at the right time in the right place, don't doubt it. . .It is a blessing that you deserve. That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it, Oprah Winfrey had said.

Give thanks and honor the blessing so the others may see that the God is truly generous and good.

Heroes from a Small Planet

2007-06-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

I remember that when I was in 2nd grade, I wanted to become a teacher. Now, that I know what I know, I wish I could have become a social entrepreneur. Maybe I still can. It is my hope that I still have time to hatch my next business endeavor, and that it will surely contribute positively to social change.

Meanwhile, I am hoping to catch the
Heroes from a Small Planet Film Fest--stories about individuals whose ideas leap beyond charity to find systemic solutions to poverty, education, health and social justice.

Check out volunteer doctors of project HOPE--providing medical services on board a boat that coasts the far-flung areas in Ecuador; the Play Pump in Africa--where inventor Trevor Field came up a children's merry-go-round that pumps clean, safe drinking water from a deep borehole every time the children start to spin. Read about Dr. Sugata Mitra from India. He set up an experiment to provide poor children with free, unlimited access to computers and the Internet. And of course, Room to Read, libraries and literacy education programs (started in Nepal and has spread "faster than Starbucks" to South East Asia) by ex-Microsoft biggie, John Woods, who has committed himself and his corporate know-how to his non-profit.

How can we change our world today?

Fair Trade Products

2007-06-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

I have been quite fascinated with the concept of Fair Trade--a business framework with a social conscience. In a nutshell, in order to trade your goods fairly, a fair local wage must be paid (versus sweatshop rates), provide equal opportunities to all people, particularly the disadvantaged (women, seniors, handicapped), engage in environmentally sustainable practices, and prioritize the upliftment of the workers' financial lives.

According to a recent article in Muncie, Indiana's Star Press, "the National Retail Federation expects the average consumer to spend $791.10 this holiday season, up from $738.11 last year."

Surely, Fair Trade gifts can use some of that spending.

Many websites have dedicated themselves to selling Fair Trade products. Check out Africa's Global Crafts.Org. There is also World of Good.Com.

One of my favorite sites is the more Asian-oriented
Ten Thousand Villages.Com, featuring artisans from the Philippines, Vietnam, Thailand, among others.

I am glad to have seen the recycled Philippine products around. The doy pack bags are popular but so are the rolled paper crafts--frames, coasters, trivets. My cousins and I saw them at Baskeesh at Napa. We were so proud.

Global Girlfriend is an online fair trade store that sells handmade gifts made by women's non-profit programs and cooperatives. I bought my friend C, a bracelet from Peru for her birthday. She was elated and I have never been prouder of my small gift.

Worthy of mention is Ecoist.com, the hip and colorful candy wrapper bags that are catching fashion editors' eyes. Ecoist promises to plant a tree for every bag sold, too.

Today, there was a business article in the newspaper that spoke directly to me. the article was about Escama--and the story of the San Francisco man who set up Brazilian women co-ops to gather soda can push tops to create eco-friendly bags using crochet and recycled aluminum pop tops.

This kind of business plan appeals to me. And maybe one day, I will be blessed with the time and courage to explore it.

Should you need gift ideas, do something nice for more people by trying Fair Trade Products. They have a varied price range and an even bigger product selection.

Malou and Minotte--2nd generation

2007-06-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is Malou--my oldest friend (literally in age) and also because we have been friends since 5th Grade.

We have shared so many adventures and misadventures. Maybe I should share only the adventures. My first ever USA trip was with her and her mom, and Angel, the third angle in our trio. My first ever and only principal's call came because of Malou's Grade 7 antics. We were put on probation, with our bright classmate, Milen, and were never classmates again.

Though my mom disapproved of Malou at first ("She's too advanced for you."--and she was right!), our friendship stood the test of time--through many arguments, many shared triumphs and lows. That we did not speak to each other for many years because of a Joe Sample record, may well be the secret of our success because Malou gets bored easily and she tends to look for new adventures. She introduced me to Ricky and is godmother to my son, as I am to her daughter. It is a known fact that Malou is not an easy character to get along with but she has her strengths: she is extremely street-smart, shrewd, and self-confident. (Strengths ba iyon?) In her clear moments, she actually makes sense. Otherwise, she belong to a level all to her own.

My cousin asked me how I got along with Malou without competition or comparison. Now I know it is because there was none--Malou and I respected our differences when we were young and now that we are mid-lifing, we just let each other be. Her unwavering sense of self, albeit a bit twisted, kept us in our proper places. And I say all these in a good way, just like it is.

The best thing I like about Malou is that, with her, I can be myself. I am almost always crabby and curt around her. And it is so okay with her. I can tell her off, specially when she is going overboard and she actually backs off. She is a personality that can take what she dishes out.

Thirty-two years (and 32 pounds a piece) later since Grade 5, we have our own daughters--Beatriz, 4, her one-and-only child and reason for living, and Monica, 3, my youngest and my boss. My mom said it was funny how Malou and I are ruled by our kids--and we concede because we are old mothers for toddlers like them and thus, have no more stamina for petty discipline.

Bea and Monica had a chance to spend time together. Malou noticed some competition and jealousy for attention. We spent our reunion mediating fights and calming the cry babies. I found myself protective over Monica, remembering how Malou used to put one over me. Bea has a strong personality just like her mom. I am glad, though, that Monica actually stood her ground. Bea and Monica actually were able to play with each other with no further incident.

Here we are, the geriatric mamas to young toddlers. How uncanny that here we go again.

Recycled Plastic Bags

2007-05-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

According to statistics at Reusable Bags.Com:

Hundreds of thousands of sea turtles, whales and other marine mammals die every year from eating discarded plastic bags mistaken for food.

Plastic bags don’t biodegrade, they photodegrade—breaking down into smaller and smaller toxic bits contaminating soil and waterways and entering the food web when animals accidentally ingest.

As part of Clean Up Australia Day, in one day nearly 500,000 plastic bags were collected.

Windblown plastic bags are so prevalent in Africa that a cottage industry has sprung up harvesting bags and using them to weave hats, and even bags. According to the BBC, one group harvests 30,000 per month.

According to David Barnes, a marine scientist with the British Antarctic Survey, plastic bags have gone "from being rare in the late 80s and early 90s to being almost everywhere from Spitsbergen 78° North [latitude] to Falklands 51° South [latitude].

Plastic bags are among the 12 items of debris most often found in coastal cleanups, according to the nonprofit Center for Marine Conservation.

What a wonderful way to put our crochet skills to work for the earth by crocheting all the plastic grocery bags into a tote bag for, well, groceries etc.

San Francisco is the first city to ban the use of plastic grocery bags and this kind of crafting will definitely help out. I think I will buy a bag or two from Craftykathi and take them to our local Farmer's Market, so I can stuff the produce in there, without having to bag them in plastic.

The bag is easy to clean and will last for many years. Of course, it will save landfill and maybe ocean-floor or beach space because the plastic bags will not float around as trash.

The other bag I found interesting was the Eco-Organic bag for $6.95.

While we're in the subject of recycled bags, I found a couple more interesting one. There's Ecoist--they make the most colorful bags out of candy wrappers.

A Philippine women's coop makes totes from discarded Doy/Juice packs. And many more reusable bag ideas at
Reusable Bags.com.

Oh, and if you want to crochet your own grocery tote bag out of yarn to rid yourself of the plastic grocery bags, there's a pattern that looks simple at Crochet Me that you would like to try.

Amma--the embrace of a mother

2007-05-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

In Malayalam, Amma's native language, the name Amma means "mother" -- an apt name for the woman revered as a holy being.

I came across the Nightline coverage of Amma--dubbed the "Miracle Hug Lady," or the "Hugging Saint."

In the south of India lives a woman who has dedicated her life to helping others. Amma began her hugging sessions in India. Today, she travels the world to spread her message of peace, coming to the United States twice a year. ABC News met her at her bucolic ranch in Northern California.

Born as Sudhamani in 1953 in the Souithern part of India, she spent the years of her childhood and teens immersed in intense spiritual practices in order to present a living example for the world. Even as a small child, she could often be found absorbed in deep meditation, totally oblivious of her surroundings. By the age of 5, she had already begun composing devotional songs laden with deep mystical insight. By age 7, she started doing small charity works.

Amma says her true mission is to care for the poor around the world. Her followers say her charitable organization has helped millions of people, primarily in her home country of India. Her group has also committed $23 million for victims of the 2004 South Asian tsunami. She raises money selling books, tapes, and even her personal effects. Supporters say her charity rakes in $5 million a year in the United States alone.

Still her simple message is to love and serve one another, and most of her time is still spent hugging those in need. she offers a few seconds of unconditional love, of no judgement, of comfort--in a loving embrace--most of the people break down and cry.

Hug your children, ask them how they are. Giggle with them at bedtime and ask them silly questions. Caress their hair when they are talking, stroke their backs, stroke their cheeks when they are asking you a question. It is sad that people don't feel loved and that they lack hugging. A hug is free and it is easy to give.

Hug a friend, your spouse, your parents, grandparents--hold it a bit longer and tighter than usual. don't ask for anything in return.

Let's try to give hugs freely so enough can go around the world. Help make the world a more loving place so people won't have to line up many hours for a hug and break down and cry when they get it.

Happy Mother's Day!

Do You Love Your Work?

2007-04-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

Small World Park, Pittsburg, CA
(photos by Minotte)

When you love your work, it's really not work. And I think, that's the way to go.

Today, we were in the midst of moving homes. Regardless to say, it was busy, messy, and confusing. It is also the height of allergy season. My eyes are watery and severely itchy. I am sneezy and itchy all over. And today, the temperature will reach a high of mid-80's--which might as well be 90's under the sun. And also today, I got my period. I suffer from cramps and nausea.

But I have 3 assignments to cover today. If I did not like my work, any one of the reasons above would have sufficed to just stay home. I thought diligence dragged me out of bed, into the shower, and into the car towards my first assignment, a children's fair in a newly-renovated park, where the sun was high and so was the pollen count. I shot a couple of photos, talked to a couple of families picnicking. The sun was so bright, I couldn't see if my pictures were good in the screen. And before I knew, it, I had spent an hour in the park. I forgot about the heat and my sneezies seemed to clear.

On I went to cover an anti-march crime, in full glory of the noontime heat. There are no trees in the water park, where they were to start from. The concrete of the parking lot was reflecting more heat into a slight headache. I prayed: "Lord, help me through this. . ." The Lord showed me all these rallyers--they were doing this under the heat of the sun, too. They were doing it to curb crime in the community and to honor the police.

I knew I got several shades darker when I reached the Art Walk in Brentwood. But the energy of the artists tided me over. They were fun, committed to their craft, and excited to introduce me to their work. They stood in the heat, too, hoping to sell some art. Through them, I realized how privileged I am to like what I do.

When I got to my sauna of a car, I was dizzy. I was hallucinating about an ice cold shower and air-drying myself until I got the chills. I got home and jumped into the coldest water I could set. I realized that I love my job. I hate the heat but I was able to bear it. My cramps and my allergy seemed to wait until I finished. But the heavenly cold water washed all the heat away.

I would write for free. (I have and I will! In fact, I would do many things for free.) I realized it is not really the writing. It's the feeling that I am echoing out the voices of the community into paper. There's a high that I get and it feels like my high when I make a good batch of bread, or when I finish a crocheted scarf. I realized that it may not be what we do per se that makes us happy. It is the feeling we get while we work that makes us happy.

There is a feeling that fulfills when you know you like what you are doing--be it raising your kids, ice skating, painting, or analyzing financial statements. So if you work to earn a living, I hope that you at least like your job because I can't imagine how unhappy you can be, spending a third of your day, a third of your life doing something you don't like. That is the biggest waste of time, I think.

I have had jobs I didn't like to do. I even lost my hair and had a fever for 7 days with the last job I hated. My body was really sending me bigger signals to quit. I would rather be poor than do something I didn't like. But i realized that you can have it both--work you like and a decent income.

In heaven, we cannot bring our work, our jobs. But we certainly will bring with us the feelings and memories we had about them. So collect good and high memories.

Do you like what you do?

Heaven in a Flower

2007-04-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

to see the world
in a grain of sand
and heaven in a wild flower,
to hold infinity in the palm
of your hand
and eternity in an hour

--William Blake

(flower from monica, photo by minotte)

The Non-Pursuit of Happiness

2007-04-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

Born Happy (photo by minotte)

The Oprah show today featured Dr.Robert Holden --a man who has dedicated his life to studying the pursuit of happiness. The psychologist is the founder of the Happiness Project in England and the author of 10 best-selling books, including Happiness Now!.

Holden's spiritual teacher told him: "You have to understand that the pursuit of happiness is a mistake. You don't chase happiness out there. You learn that you're happy inside you and then you go running. Then you go into the world."

You can't pursue happiness. Happiness is within you.

I never thought of it like that but it does make sense. I know happiness does not lie in the watch you wear, the car you drive, or how big your home is. Holden says we were all created happy. How we perceive our experiences in life is what teaches us how to not happy. There is also what he calls the "happy-chondriac," --those who are afraid to be happy because we were taught that happiness has a price, and there will be a fall, a payback.

Holden says that chronic sad sacks and complainers are happy-chondriacs. They like to live life and complain. Sometimes, we think we don't deserve what we have. But really, we all have to dare to let life be great, and to trust that good things can happen, and that they can last.

"One way to do that is to surround yourself with people who already know that. I think it's also great to have some friends around you who can remind you, because we do forget," Dr. Holden says.

Also, Holden suggests that we let go of our imperfect past. We can't have a perfect past anyway. "And then take a vow of kindness, be kind to everyone," he said.

Destination affliction is the condition Holden coined for those who promise that they will be happier in the future, when they have a certain job, when the kids are grown, when they have their own home. These people live in the not-now. Holden promises that they will not be happy when they reach their destination. A bigger house will mean the lack of proper furniture and the empty-nest will mean loneliness.

I should remember this because I tend to put my dreams on hold because the kids are young. I want to travel--Italy, France, Greece, I want to learn how to rock-climb, live in a small house at the foot of a hill and own a small bakery. And then I realized that I can save up to travel now--with them--if we are lucky, on a cruise, why not? I should also check-out rock-climbing sooner than later because I don't think arthritis and rock-climbing are best friends. I also started honing my bread-making skills now (not later). I should also remember to dream big and to want to earn money, and not feel guilty about a windfall or two. Or not to put myself down when I am doing well. I should remember not to be afraid of my light.

Take the test
and find out how happy you are. Read about the whole show here and hope it helps you find your own (inner) road to happiness.

New Articles

2007-03-22T10:57:00.001-07:00

Check out the links to some articles I thought you might be interested in:

Elderly Wish Foundation grants a wish to a terminally-ill woman.

HALO Animal Shelter
director Joyce Sanderson's heart and home for all stray and rescued dogs.

Happy Reading!

Cheerful Giving

2007-03-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Children have a right to be normal and to feel normal, and celebrating a birthday is a normal part of childhood. Cheerful Givers birthday bags give children living in a very tumultuous time a chance to stop and focus on something positive.-- Reyne Branchaud-Linsk,Executive Director,Dakota Woodlands Shelter

Robin Maynard and her husband, Kevin, came to stack an home for disadvantaged children with 12 birthday bags. Nothing earth shaking. 12 birthday bags created with love in the basement of a house by a couple who wanted to make a difference. 12 birthday bags dropped off at Trinity Mission on a Sunday night. 12 birthday bags igniting a spark that would provide warmth for thousands.

Cheerful Givers has given out 166,000 goodie bags since 1994. Filled with crayons, candy, stuffed toys, and other goodies a child's heart desires, these bags have given out joy to so many children.

The nice thing is, you can set up your own Cheerful Givers event. Just take pictures and let Cheerful Givers know what you did so they can include include your event in their count. Check out ther activities and their blog here and find out how you can find your own inspiration.

Winter Garden Crops

2007-03-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

Though the heat wave damaged our summer crops in the backyard, take a look at our winter garden. We have leeks, sugar peas, spinach and beautiful lettuce--all organic, no fertilizers nor pesticides, just tender loving care and kitchen scrap compost. We watch out for slugs in the morning and we have been lucky. Our still sparse harvest has been quite sweet, nothing you can buy in the produce section in the supermarket. Sometimes, I eat it off the plant like the Manic Organic. He plants his own food and prepares it in a gourmet way that will make you envious. He prepared a basil-tomato salad, of course from his harvest. But to top that, he got local goat cheese made by his neighbor. Yum!

So far, we have enjoyed a fresh and crunchy salad, a spinach saute, leeks for pork teriyaki. We also the wilt the leeks in butter as a side dish. And who knew that ther flowers are edible and great in a salad? The sugar snap peas are sparse, I just eat them off fresh from the vine. That crunch is unforgettable!

Once you have grown and eaten your own food, it is hard to settle for supermarket food that travels many miles and passes through many hands before it gets to your table. It makes you wonder what the farms injected into those fruits and veggies before it got to your table, doesn't it?

John Woods' Room to Read

2007-03-10T11:42:00.001-08:00

In 1999, John Wood, then 35 and Microsoft's No. 2 in China, journeyed to Nepal with some 3,000 books in tow—not to read on vacation but to give to a school that could not afford any. The project was a joint venture between Wood and Dinesh Prasad Shrestha, a rural-aid worker in Kathmandu whom the IT executive had met earlier. It planted an idea. "We should get serious about this," Shrestha told Wood. "We should be more organized and do this properly."

Read more in Time Asia's article Asian Heroes.

John Woods: my hero.

How shall we change the world today?

Wealthy Adults turn to Philanthropy

2007-02-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

According to Philanthropy Today, more young people are looking for ways to use their inherited wealth for social good, forming a new wave of foundation and charity leaders, reports U.S. News & World Report.

The next few decades will see baby boomers leaving their wealth to their children and grandchildren, thus creating a potentially significant source of charitable giving. Boston College researchers estimate that bequests may total $41-trillion through 2052. Rather than spending most of the money on themselves, young heirs are opting to start their own philanthropic organizations.

Groups such as Resource Generation, an organization in New York that guides wealthy young philanthropists and is supported by the Ford, Kellogg, and Surdna foundations, have formed to assist heirs in becoming effective donors and foundation leaders.

Read the US News & World Report here. And check out these links: Resource Generation,
Society of Young Philanthropists,
and Inspired Legacies.

For as Tracy Gary, founder of Inspired Legacies said, ""There is so much more that we can do locally and globally during our lives to improve the world!"

(Art by Nevernevermind Stencils)

Recalling Young Love at Midlife

2007-02-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

"The sweetest thing your dad did for me was when he caught my flight from LA to Manila. I was on vacation and he was on Spring Break from his remote boarding school, going back to Manila. I was thrilled to get a window seat in Economy Class, at the rear of the plane, near the lavatory. He was flying First Class. After take-off, he went down to my seatmate and asked, 'Would you like to exchange seats?'

The very dark brown man, clutching his brown briefcase, with a man's diamond-studded ring to proclaim wealth and supposed stature, snapped, 'Bakit saan ka ba naka-upo?'(Where the @*!! do you sit?)

'Sa First Class po,' your daddy said.

And the very brown man with a diamond ring sprang up, still clutching his briefcase, almost sprinted up the aisles to First Class--enjoying the whole flight, food, and service.

(Customs Officer ba siya?)

Your daddy, on the other hand, camped out with me, in the rear of the plane, near the lavatory, eating from melamine bowls covered with Cling-wrap. . ."

This story I like to tell my kids over and over because it was a moment of young love that was pure and simple and sweet. A time when my husband and I were young and strong, when we didn't know what arthritis was, and when we thought the world was all about just us.

But my loving husband never fails to put an end to my fairy-tale by declaring to my audience, "Yeah, and mom was pissed and asked why I didn't give HER my First Class Seat!"

I would always pinch his chubby cheeks and say, "I get it! I get it!"

I wish I could pull up a picture of that day. We were both 17 and there were no cellphones, video games, and we talked and played cards most of the time. My husband was a hundred pounds lighter and I had very thin, over-plucked eyebrows and severely layered hair. But all our pictures are in a bin in Manila, along with many of the things we left behind.

My husband is now in Manila, hoping to fix many business plans, after an abrupt lay-off from work. This led to his realization that the way to go in USA (and anywhere in life) is really building your own business as employment security is uncertain and 9 to 5 work is unsatisfying at midlife.

I miss him now that he is away. I used to tell him not to send me flowers on Valentine's Day because they were expensive. He always did, anyway. So now that he actually will not send me flowers, I think of all the gifts he gave me. . .and I am most thankful for his kindness. Many naysayers predicted that our marriage wouldn't last. After almost 17 years, I say to them "eat your heart out!" (with my thumb on my nose, wriggling my other fingers, meaning belat in Tagalog) My husband is the biggest blessing in my life and we have hurdled speculation after speculation.

He has seen my innards at birth (after birth) of our children--wala na akong itatago sa kanya (I have nothing to hide from him anymore). My sweet but clueless Lamaze coach, though he slept through labor, brought me a cheesebruger after gruelling labor. We have secrets to identify each other if we were in another time, another body, and made plans to find each other in heaven. I am able to sleep through his infamous snoring and I still remind him to diet and mind his manners. He has lived through my anger and angst.

I thank the Lord for sweet love but I thank Him more for midlife love--a time for quiet, mature, persevering affection that has weathered many trials and shared many joys. This is what my Jesuit professor lectured: "Love is a commitment, not a feeling."

And though I beg to disagree, (I think love IS a feeling), love needs commitment and hope to live. Each layered experience adds character and depth to the painting that has become our family, with colors that I cannot mix nor buy at the OOPS section of Home Depot.

How is your midlife love?

National Bestsellers

2007-02-07T12:06:00.000-08:00

Taken from the newspaper listing and Amazon briefs, I want to share with you the nonfiction national bestsellers this week:

1.The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama, engages themes raised in his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, shares personal views on faith and values and offers a vision of the future that involves repairing a "political process that is broken" and restoring a government that has fallen out of touch with the people.

Barack Obama is my current idol and I will surely buy this as soon as the budget allows.

2. The Innocent Man. I know it's by John Grisham but it is his first nonfiction book about a man sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit.

3.
Born on a Blue Day: Inside the Extraordinary Mind of an Autistic Savant. A memoir by an autistic savant who can perform extraordinary mathematical calculations.

4.
I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron. A witty look at aging.

5.
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins about an Oxford scientist who asserts that belief in God is irrational and that religion has greatly harmed the world.

Check them all out at Amazon.com

Happy Reading!

New Articles

2007-02-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

Hope my newest articles are of interest to you:

Habitat for Humanity Awards Two Homes
United Filipino-Americans Association in Antioch
Seniors for Children

Happy Reading!

Retirement

2007-01-24T12:56:00.000-08:00

I have a clear picture of my retirement years. We will build a house in Tagaytay. I will tend to an organic vegetable garden and small crochet shop, selling yarns, patterns and hooks. I also dream to put up a small bakery. There I will train marginalized housewives of Cavite to make artisan bread and bagels to supply most of Tagaytay. And then, we will share the profits.

I found inspiration in an Oakland bakery called Arizmendi Coop Bakery.

I have been looking for bread recipes and I have found some. I just have no luck with churning out good bread. Twice na ako palpak.

Well, try and try again. . .

Ask and you shall receive

2007-01-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, all you have to do is ask.

Looking back from last year, I know we would not have survived without the Grace of God. People sent us clothes for the winter, toys for Christmas. I asked for a coat, I got so many resources to retire my 10-year-old coat with shoulder pads. I found a work-from-home job, just as I asked for. Two jobs, in fact! How's that for a bonus?

I sent out a plea for Bears for Bicol, expecting a trickle from the few Fil-Ams I knew--just to piggy-back on my friend's cause. That plea snowballed into bears that filled our living room. And they were all in good condition--clean and cuddly. We would come home from mass and find bears and books at our front door. I would get calls from people to pick up bears here and there. Now I am dealing with a deluge of bears that will be sent out to Bicol.

Realizing all these resources and potential,I have been wanting to send the books to Philippine elementary schools in remote provinces where access is not easy. Inspired by Books for the Barrios, I knew that these books would need a guardian angel to be forwarded to Philippines, taken by boat, then by banca, then by truck or bus to a school that is only accessed by foot.

Praying for a connection, I chanced a show on ANC and found Synregeia.org--a group that laid down the foundation for encouraging Philippine local government units
to take responsibility,along with the community, in upgrading the basic education standards of their provice. In the show, Synergeia program coordinator Trissa Manalastas talked of teacher and parent training programs and how (because of synergy and cooperation with the LGU and DepEd) (PHP)P550 a YEAR can sponsor a child in remote Tawi-tawi, torn and displaced by war, to learn better reading and math skills.

I called Trissa and asked if she could bring books that I will send them to the schools. How wonderful that they had the access to move the books from Manila to the farthest province you can imagine, by air, by boat, by banca, and by truck, and then carried by 3 people up to the hilltops.

I am packing the books today. Books from friends, books I got in thrift stores or by standing outside of the county library when they do a clean-out. I realized the quality of these books when I know that many kids in the barrios have scarce reading materials--mostly on newsprint paper, mimeographed badly. These books I am packing are hard-bound, on white paper, with vivid colors, with dust covers. I am excited as I can actually feel the joy of the kids who will read these. I have come to meet with the UFAA (United Filipino Americans in Antioch) donated story books, chapter books, picture books.

When it is a win-win sitution, there is hardly any effort at all: connections are just made like miracles, the books will save landfill (and closet) space, and most of all, the books will be used by Filipino kids that badly need them. I can imagine the child examining the book cover, caressing the white pages, reading about other places, looking at big and colored pictures. . .

I am led to call my project: Candlelight Books, simply because there was a close-out sale on address labels with a candle design, that I can attach to all the books. Plus, the idea of the kids reading by candlelight, signifying how remote they are, is endearing to me. It remind me of hope and finding a way when we thought there was none.

You know it is God's gift when the timing is perfect, the people are generous and are so willing to cooperate, the end goal is simple but truthful and useful.

Candlelight Books is surely a gift from Him.

Maybe tomorrow, I will ask for a carpet for our living room because the floors are cold in the winter. And maybe 2 chairs for the sala, and maybe lamps. But really, I must not forget to ask for a new job or business for Ricky--may he find fulfillment and confidence in his work life. May this door that shut lead to a window of abundant possibilities.

(Hi to my mom and tita Evelyn, who read me all the time!)

Oprah's Dream Come True

2007-01-04T11:30:00.000-08:00

It started as a wish for a first-class school that would nurture, educate, and turn gifted young South African girls from impoverished backgrounds into the country's future leaders. Last summer it was time for Oprah to eagle-eye the final details, choose the uniforms and handpick the first 75 students. Click here
to take a look at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy.

"The idea of a school strikes the deepest chord in Oprah. "My own success has come from a strong background in reading and learning. The greatest gift you can give is the gift of learning,' she said.

The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls, set to open next week, accepted 152 applicants, out of 3,500, to attend the 22-acre, 28-building campus 40 miles from Johannesburg. Amenities include a salon, a yoga studio, fancy cotton sheets, state-of-the art classrooms with airconditioning and heat and plenty of fireplaces and plush seating.

Leave it to Oprah to inspire the young girls with beauty, almost luxury, towards a better future. What started as a $10 million-dollar donation to build the academy has ballooned into a mega $40 million facility to behold.

"When you have a beautiful environment," she says, "it inspires beauty in you. That's what I want to do with these girls." She has also commissioned artwork by both renowned and emerging artists from all over South Africa so that the girls can live in appreciation and celebration of their heritage.

The Academy can't help but attract (good and critical) attention. Why all black? Why all girls? Why a school abroad? Why 200-count percale sheets? Newsweek has questioned the lavishness of Oprah's academy, in a country where poverty and AIDS are widespread.

It may be a bit overboard from the outset. The girls may be overwhelmed or distracted. They may even lose the tenacity that poverty taught them. But then, who's to say? It may be a piece of heaven on earth, that the girls are privileged to, and will continue to strive for. And maybe the critics in us have to do an abundance check and mull about why we are to judge who is deserving or not.

"Oprah says she decided to build her own school because she was tired of charity from a distance. 'When I first started making a lot of money,' she says, 'I really became frustrated with the fact that all I did was write check after check to this or that charity without really feeling like it was a part of me.'

Newsweek said: "To a certain degree, she is building this school for herself: the plucky girl who became one of the most successful women in the world yet still feels that pain of rape and poverty. If she can save these girls, perhaps she can rescue that child, too."

Looking back

2006-12-29T20:02:00.000-08:00

As 2006 comes to an end, I had a chance to look back at photos from last month. It was a good year for me, considering last year was severely tight. December 2006 was a month when I stabilized my writing with The Brentwood Press and realized how much I love my job with the small community paper. My bosses are kind and they are always willing to teach me things and make decisions. I also secured a part-time job with an author who is poised to launch her book for non-profit grant writing. Exposure to many non-profits and how they work has been quite exciting. And the extra money has certainly been welcome.

The fall of 2006 was a good time. I can now afford to go to McDo, although now that we can, we don't anymore because the kids are sawa. Time to move on to more distinguished fast-food chains. Nasa Outback level or quaint Japanese restos na kami ngayon. (We miss Zen!)Well, that's just an analogy--meaning, we have time to breathe unlike last year when we were barely above water. . .

My kids are clothed better now. Their coats are new, their shoes are new. We also got a bunch of gently used clothes from my cousins in Jersey that tided us over--and even more clothes for Xmas presents. We are in the process of taking out old and small clothes in our closets to make way for new ones. Wow, a feat indeed!

We are happy that, even if we are off the radar, our friends wanted to come over for a couple of get-togethers at our home. We have acquired more furniture--one was a new buffet/console table from mother-in-law. Off to side tables next year!

I am most of all happy that several people offered to pass out the hat and buy me a nice coat. My winter coat is 10 years old, bought in 1996 and has a bit of shoulder padding--I thought I could get away with it so I wore it to some Christmas parties and I felt hindi ako ginalang. One lesson of being poor is humility. I am dying to retire it!

My friend, J, gave me a birthday gift that I won't forget--cash for a coat. The second lesson of being poor is you learn to appreciate gifts, and you are always in tears from gratitude. My cousin, M, from NJ continues to give warm clothes for the winter.My mom offered to buy me a coat by herself, and Uncle Jack actually bought me a coat. (Pinasauli ni mom!) Ricky gave me a gift certificate to buy me a coat! Heck, even Ricky got a new coat from my mom. Wow, talagang ask and you shall receive! So I think I will buy a coat--and now maybe, a purse!

We got an abundance of gifts from my two brothers in NJ. My son saved all year to buy a PS3. My eldest son is so rich, he bought himself a ticket home to Manila (again!)

Things are looking up. . .

Here are some photos I took for last month, reflective of the year we have had. I keep saying I like to shoot photos more than writing now. Shooting is easier with more impact. . .a thousand words talaga:

Christmas product shoot--beauty and glitter of the season. (Article, photos, and styling by me!)

Our Thanksgiving table setting--solemn and bounty from the garden

Todos los Santos open market, Concord--abundance

Santa for Seniors--gift bags for neglected seniors: giving back

Our office Xmas party--Ilove my job!

Pretty Christmas dresses from NJ--love and family

I have only the Lord to thank for all these wonderful things happening. But thanks to everyone who helped us out get over last year. Thank you, thank you to everyone who reads me (even if you don't comment), I feel your presence and I hold a good intention for all of you.

Happy New Year to all! May 2007 be even kinder and more abundant for all of us!

Bears for Bicol

2006-12-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how one person can make a difference when she really wants to. I have witnessed my friend and once a colleague, Cathy Babao-Guballa, do this so many times. A mother of 2, prolific writer, grief counselor, and budding diplomat, she has built hospital play centers for children with long-term illnesses that require them to stay in the government hospitals for long periods of time. She has filled the centers with books, toys, VHS kiddie movies, solicited from people in Manila and abroad--all very willing to help out, with a box or two of toys. She has also spearheaded the renovation the Philippine General Hospital Pediatric Ward, bagging a sponsor to back her efforts. I was awed with how she woke up the desire to give in all of us, and how easy it was to make a difference.

She is once again at it, with her 1000 Bears for Bicol project. True to form, Cathy reflects the power of ONE person making a difference, exemplifying the best each one of us can be. She rallied one and all to donate teddy bears to donate to the children displaced by the typhoon. And bears poured in, in trickles at first, and then by the boxes--from local folks and again abroad. Pledges were made by Bears Without Borders and Teddy Bear Power--organizations that believe in the healing power of teddy bears. Donations were matched by the local food outlets, plane delivery of the bear boxes were taken care of Bicol government officials and Philippine Airlines.

"Those among you who will be truly happy are the ones who have sought and found how to serve." --Albert Schweitzer

In my favorite book, Stone Soup for the World by Marianne Larned, many stories of everyday heroes taking up their causes and calls were essayed. There was a young boy who convinced his city to donate leftover cafeteria food to the hungry instead of throwing it away. He had founded the USA Harvest based in Florida. There were people who volunteered adults how to read, others taught dance or music or math. There is Sidewalk Sam, who shares his art talent with his fantastic drawings in chalk on the sidewalks for everyone to partake of. There are corporations like Target that hire mentally challenged employees. Paul Newman's Newman Own, pledges 100% of his profits back to the community.

I would like to believe that slowly, the scales of consciousness are tipping. . .

What if you taught women in your community how to crochet, or how to sew? What if you taught them how to make bread? What if you organized a garage sale and donated the proceeds to fix up a classroom that needs new light or fans? What if your really went carless one day per week, not because you are coded, but because you would like to spare the air? What if, instead of the daily Starbucks latte, you sent a child to school?

I am compelled to piggy-back on Cathy's cause--because it is worthy and because it is so easy, how can I not exert such a small effort? Many people are slow to action because they think someone else will do it anyway, or maybe they deem their contribution to be so small. I will round up a few bears from here and send it to Manila. I have spied Santa Bears on close-out. (Puwede kaya yon?) And I am still collecting old children's books and toys to be sent to bare elementary school libraries in the Philippines. I can send some of those too.

Check out Cathy's blog at Midlife Mysteries and hope you can send her a bear or two.

Thanksgiving Day may be my Christmas

2006-11-26T12:28:00.000-08:00

This is our 2nd Thanksgiving Day celebration as immigrants and I must say I'm beginning to appreciate this day of reflecting on the blessings of life, without the fatigue and confusion of gift-giving and long Christmas lists.

My list of thanks has transformed this year: We rent a wonderful and clean house, with a big backyard. The kids have settled down in school. My eldest is working part-time while putting himself through community college. With the excellent grades he is getting, he is working on transferring to UC (Berkeley, Davis?) next year. With the way things are going, my son's one foot is out of the door--ready to spread his wings. He may have to come home for future holidays. But in the meantime, I relish the thought that we are all together.

My husband has settled down in his job despite the commute. The kids have not been sick (knock on wood!) and the best, best thing is that together, we face our life's challenges in good spirits, with the help of Yaya Syrel. And that essentially, we are all safe and sound.

My brothers are on the other coast and they are happy and thriving. My mom's second lease on life has been blessed. What she chooses to do with it may still unfold. My dad and my lola take care of each other. I have to be thankful that, though that family is not together, we all think of each other fondly.

I am thankful for my job, that allows me to work from home and yet, meet so many good people who continue to show me the way towards more evolving. I am thankful that I have not sold out to the rat race of work, work and work. I have time to tend to the kids and I have time to shoot pictures of the beautiful lake in the park. I am thankful for time to breathe.

I am thankful that, though financially tight sometimes, nakakaraos rin. In fact, being financially tight make us more appreciative, more grateful, and nearer to God--because we have to depend on His Hand to carry us through. Living simply continues to teach my children not to be complacent brats and it has taught me creative ways to endure.

I look forward to the next Thanksgiving dinner--a very laid back celebration without the pressure and frenzy of Christmas. And since some scholars debate on the actual date of Christ's birth to be October or November, this may have been very well Christmas to me. And though my mom made a beautiful 23-lb turkey, and my son played some tunes on his violin, while my daughter read the story of the first Thanksgiving, I am most thankful for the space Thanskgiving offered--a personal and private reflection of Christ's birth and presence in my life.

The day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday--the biggest sale event of the year. Stores open at 5 a.m. and laptops are sold for $199, everthing else is half-off. People line up at the entrance the night before, shivering in the cold, determined to get good deals for Christmas gifts. PS3 launched the week before to people who have pitched tents days before, eager to get their hands on the limited US supply. The actual event and was short of chaos and stampedes. Some stores and customers were held-up at gunpoint.

And though I am not a big fan of the Christmas frenzy, the casualness of Thanksgiving proves to be more endearing as we create new and fond family traditions that will anchor us through many years.

Attention Writers

2006-11-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hello, writers of stories, fiction or non, poets, children's story-tellers and illustrators! Check out some sites I have come across:

There is a writing contest, entries are sent by email, with $750 USD worth of prizes to the winners. Not bad for the 500 words you can whip up--about anything. Click Whim's Place for details.

For my idol photographer friends, check out the photo contest at Picture.com for details.

And for those of you still tweaking your manuscript somewhere out there, get ready to take your work a step up. Whenever you are ready to take the leap towards getting published and don't know what to do, explore publishing your book yourself with Author House. They promise to help you choose the best book publishing options and the most effective marketing tools towards your goal.

From simple poetry to
children's fiction , to shamanic healing, test your mettle and compare-- you may find confidence that you have what it takes to get published.

Plant a tree, raise a child, write a book. . .

Kiva.org

2006-11-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

Still another amazing way to use the internet, as it connects the world:

Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can "sponsor a business" and help the world's working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you've sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back. (I think with some interest). And you decide if you wish to sponsor another small business again.

Tunyany Jesca is a married woman, 28 years old with four children. She started this business in 2004 with 2 bags of charcoal, and as of now, she is going running with 4 bags.

Jesca got married early due to school fees, a poor standard of living, and eventually, the loss of her parents.

Since she resorted to an early marriage, her husband is not a working class individual and daily living is not so good. She had to open up this business of buying and selling charcoal in order to earn a living.

So now she is requesting a loan of $600 to enable her to increase her profit and achieve a better living. Jesca is a capable lady in her work and associates with her fellow business ladies well. When this loan is granted, it will help her to expand her business.

Check them out at Kiva for details. Browse through the small entrepreneurs and their lenders of the organization to get our creativity going.

How can we change our world today?

Laughter Lifeline

2006-11-10T23:30:00.000-08:00

After a bout with gloom, my oldest friends came to the rescue via conference chat. How funny that the 3 of us had no microphones for voice chat. MLV in the office, teasing us with a probable webcam invite--that didn't work anyway. MASI was home about to run her errands. So we typed away as fast as our midlife fingers would allow us to. I laughed my heart out as we waited for MLV to get hi-tech and figure out the proper chat room, oggling at her IM pic, showing off her (infamous) cleavage and bleached hair.

"Wala pa si rufa mae," said MASI, coining our code name for MLV.
"Low-tech kasi," I said.

Amidst MLV's boss hovering, we exchanged stories--about old and "young" dudes, as MASI put it, only because MLV's dude interest's first name is actually, "Young," plus a furious exchange of recent and funny old pics. ("Noong fresh pa kami," they said). My husband and kids circled in around me, ("What's happening?")as they never saw me giggling like this in a LOOOOng time.

And I must tell you, this is the kind of laughter that can cure anything. Even my soul was laughing. I was laughing even in the bathroom as I took a shower. I went to bed with a smile on my face. . .

"Naka-depress talaga diyan sa States, kasi wala kang makausap," said MLV, zeroing on the state of my social life here. It doesn't help that the average American has only 2 friends, not counting the spouse or home partner. In Manila, we would have picked each other up and hang out for coffee for an average of 5 hours. But here, hanging out is rare and almost not possible, unless you schedule it a month before.

I am lucky to have friends like MLV and MASI. I have nothing to hide from them and I definitely don't have to pretend to be brave and strong when I am not. They are the ones I can call late at night and show up at their place unannounced. MLV knows that I "keep blogging because wala kang makausap diyan, no?"

Friends since grade school, we share a solid bond like sisters. We have had our dangerous misunderstandings that lasted for years with no speaking to each other. But when we get back together, we pick up right where we left. Nothing to explain, nothing to apologize for.

I realize that deep friendship focuses on the deep things. We can talk shallow and make fun of MLV and we talk about others sometimes--but we don't judge each other on what we think or say at the moment of gossip. I like that we remember our maiden names more than our married surnames (maybe even our class number!). I like that we were friends before we became wives and mothers.

There are some things we don't bother about with each other. I didn't even know MLV had a day job! (Neither did MASI). But I know every inch of MLV's personality. I can predict that she will piss MASI off at any second. Nevertheless, we are still friends.

The conference chat has assured me that time and distance will not fade our friendship. The laughter we shared on purely nonsense will carry me through for a while. I take solace in knowing that they know all my kids and will love them, just as I am godmother to theirs. One day, they will give my eulogy (if MLV will articulate better. . .) because I trust that they will miss me the most--just as I miss them terribly as I continue to adjust in this land of plenty--with an average of 2 friends.

Symptoms of a Blogging Addict

2006-11-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

Are you or are you not?

Since I seem to be binge-blogging, I thought I'd share with you the 10 Mock Symptoms of Blog Addiction, according to Bloggers Anonymous:

10. You check your blog stats a LOT. You occasionally get up in the middle of the night and sneak a peak.

9. Your significant other suspects you are having an affair with your blog. Even when you’re alone with your special person, you do find yourself thinking what your blog might be doing right then…

8. You “mental blog” while driving or on the train, and sometimes even when you are alone in the shower.

7. You filter everything through your post-writing. You can’t watch a movie, see a play, read an article, or share a sweet moment with your child without thinking of whether it’s blog-worthy.

6. You suffer from “blog envy” when another blogger posts something juicy before you do. You suffer “comment envy” when said post gets 40-something comments – the jerk!

5. You “binge blog” 3 or 4 posts at once—only to feel guilty and empty afterward.

4. You ditched all your real friends for blog friends, because, well, “they understand.” You bypass Bowling Alone at the bookstore (who really cares?) while you reach for Naked Conversations.

3. You think, “I can stop at any time.”

2. Your lunch hour has become your “blog hour.” You keep a few posts tucked in your desk in case you need them during the day.

1. After 5 minutes of meeting someone really interesting you ask, “So - do you blog?”

Blogging has become sort of a connection and an outlet for me--a voice sent out in cyberspace, hoping to find its way to someone. Because my story is yours and your story is mine. And though I'd like to see comments, I know some people read this and we have somehow connected.

For those who live to blog, check the site out and soul-search. For an additional photo fancy effect, check out Slide.com to see what you can do with your pics.

Happy blogging!!

Rainy Days and Mondays

2006-11-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

Rainy days have always gotten me down--Mondays or otherwise. When some see it as a perfect opportunity to curl up with a book, or catch up with sleep, my heart sinks into the grayness of the clouds and my spirit is quietly crying along with the raindrops.

I can't explain it and I can't will myself to feel better, specially when PMS hovers like a vulture and I am anxious to ward off the threat of depression, waiting to push me over the brink. (Translation: I just want to cry and pity myself). I count my blessings and realize that life is good, but gloom abounds.

So when I took the BART yesterday, I endured a long, dark, damp, and cold ride. I was, in fact, scared and sad at the same time--which is really not my personality. I thought, "If I go to hell, it will be raining. And my ultimate nightmare will star PMS, SAD, and panic attacks. . ."

I take solace in the fact that I am not alone. Yahoo conducted research about rainy days and mood and many found a gloomy day to be, well, gloomy and that sunny days are well, sunnier and brighter. I therefore conclude that all this gray will kill me.

I envy my husband who revels in the rain like a child, almost holding out his tongue for raindrops. When it rains, his first instinct is to take a drive and splash around the puddles. (!!???!!)

I also hope that I don't have SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or winter blues--a biochemical imbalance in the hypothalamus due to the shortening of daylight hours and the lack of sunlight in winter. (Is it my hypothalamus I feel when the back and sides of my neck seem swollen?)

In my heaven, there will be an infinity of sunny days, skipping, smiling children, bright colored flowers, funny movies, and books!

Meanwhile, nothing to do but frown and pray. I must run out to rent a comedy video, and I will try the thick, Spanish hot cocoa I bought in the Pinoy store. . .

Pinoy Store

2006-11-01T12:05:00.000-08:00

Eto po ang aming munting sari-sari store.

This is Pacific Oriental, my go-to store for Pinoy needs. Dito, meron rin kaming comfort food like Choc-Nut, Curly Tops, V-Cut, Chippy, Clover Chips, Boy Bawang, Cornix, garlic chips and peanuts, butong-pakwan, polvoron, Pichi-pichi, palitaw, (what's the diff na nga ba?), sapin-sapin, leche flan, bibingka, and maja blanca. If you look close, there is turon and carioca (?), halo-halo and frozen manggang hilaw today.

When I have no time to cook, there is food-to-go: sinigang, adobo, bistek (like lola's) pinakbet, pansit (all kinds),afritada with hotdog, tinola, pritong tilapia, BBQ, lumpiang shanghai, and my favorite pag suwerte, binagoongang baboy. (I also want to know why Pinoy food is better tasting here??) The manang is just about to complete her lunch menu. I think today, it's sinigang, sayote guisado, pancit, and caldereta.

In the freezer, I go crazy for the smoked tawilis, Martin Purefoods longganisa, tocino, and corned beef. Saranggani Bay bangus belly is a delicious steal, and fresh tilapia is cheap at $1.75/lb. There's lots of Rufina Patis, Silver Swan Suka and Toyo, although fresh calamansi is rare. And what would we do without Knorr cubes, Sinigang Mix, and Kamayan bottled bagoong? (Pronounced "ba-gong" by Fil-Ams). And for the Chinoys, there's hopia, tikoy, and moon cake, too.

There's also ube and manggo Magnolia Ice Cream (made stateside), and lately Selecta Ice Cream--both more expensive than Haagen Daazs or even Breyers. And the Royal and Sarsi, mahal at $2.29 per 1.5 litro. Mas mura pa ang Fanta and every other rootbeer. We also like the calamansi and dalandan juice.

Pacific Oriental also has a money remitting center, a balik-bayan box forwarding, and Pinoy movies for rent (Kutob, Dubai, Saan Ka Man Naroon) for $3.99 each. A mortal sin for those who buy in Arlegui!

Here we get to say "Salamat, manong/manang." Everyone is friendly and the store music blares Willy Revillame's songs.

Available too are Nagaraya Adobo Flavor Nuts, Nature's Way Tawas Deo, Gugo shampoo and Bench Bubble Gum Cologne, kulang nalang yung mga sabit na shampoo sachet , not applicable due to wholesale-quantity lifestyle.

A Bouquet of Good People

2006-10-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

The best thing about being a writer is the chance to meet good and proactive people to write about. These evolved souls have surely uplifted my thinking and my spirit.

I have met moms who miss their sons in the troops. They group together to send their sons video DVD's, music CD's,food--candy and chips, socks, pillows and other comfort things. They hold garage sales to raise funds for their group.

I have met a mom who, with the help of her 2 best friends, mounted a community party fundraiser for Alissa, her 2-year old with terminal brain cancer. Since the little girl has only months to live, and their home nears foreclosure, they raised funds to give the little girl the comforts of home. Hundreds of people showed up at the party to eat and play, with donations in tow.

I have met a mom who lost her child to stillbirth. She now heads a petition that demands a Certificate of Death Resulting in Stillborn versus just a Certificate of Death--to acknowlege the viable life of that child, instead of just its death.

I have met women who walked to help out breast cancer causes, or people who walked to ease hunger. I have talked to a man who launched the local Random Acts of Kindness chapter here--looking for people who do acts of kindness without recognition or funfare (wow, I like his job, too!)

I have met a woman who collects crocheted squares from volunteers. She puts them together into blankets for the needy. There was a senior group who knits preemie caps and blankets given out to premature babies in the hospitals.

I have met a man who single-handedly mounted the first local filmfest in our area, setting up his backyard with a big projector screen for viewing under the stars--just because he felt there were many filmakers in need of more venues.

I have met Julie and Marisa, avid keepers of the soil, using worm compost and harvesting most of their vegetables, and teaching the community and their children how to plant.

Today, I met Shelly McMahon who lives in a farm that she tends with her husband and sons. On her Brentwood farm, she has lettuce, chard, tomatoes, arugula, radishes, and most of the salad greens we know of. But impressive are her herbs--basil, oregano, chamomille, mint, cinnamon-basil, lavender, scented geraniums, lemon verbena--that she dries into tea leaves. She gifted me with a bunch of these flowering herbs. (like the pic?) I am a coffee drinker but I may very well shift to tea just because of this beautiful bunch. The smell of all these fresh herbs reminded me of the bouquet of many good things I have been blessed with.

On her farm I also spied a real tree house, a pool, and all the space you need to raise 100 chickens, mules, and kids. She goes out on a tractor to till her soil and sow her seeds.

I feel like I stepped into a dreamland of peace and quiet, where she grows most of her food, eats in season, and enjoys an abundance of the earth's gifts.

I am smelling a lavender twig as I write this and I resolve to one day live among vegetables and flowers. Hey, maybe I already am!

Micro-credit bank founder wins Nobel Peace PriZe

2006-10-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

When the beggar woman asked Muhammad Yunus for money, he lent her $27. "Charity is not the answer to poverty," Yunnus wrote. "It only helps poverty to continue."

The woman and her friends used the money to start a furniture making business, escaped the bonds of poverty, and paid back the loan in full.

Cheers to my idol, economist with the biggest heart, Muhammad Yunus--founder of the Bangladesh Grameen Bank in 1983, inventing and implementing the concept of micro-finance and micro-loans that has lifted millions of the poor towards self-sufficiency, with no-collateral loans from $20 to $200.

Grameen Foundation's mission is to empower the world's poorest people to lift themselves out of poverty with dignity through access to financial services and to information. With tiny loans, financial services and technology, they help the poor, mostly women (97%), start self-sustaining businesses to escape poverty. Yunus' model has been successfully replicated around the world--including East Asia, South Asia, Africa, Middle East, even in United States. (Check out the Philippines' Grameen Bank locations).

Only the stong culture of sense and shame in Bangladesh women (in Philippines, we call that "kahiyaan") served as collateral and on that, Grameen Bank boasts of a 98.5% loan repayment. Much lower than a regular bank's rate repayment of 57%.

Yunnus and his Grameen Bank has shown that even the poorest of the poor can bring about their own development.

Click on Grameen Foundation and of course, my favorite site The New Heroes to find out more about Yunnus and his inovative Nobel Peace Prize project--now with 2,226 branches in 71,371 villages, 18,795 employees, with $5.7 billion in total loans disbursed. In 2005, Grameen boasted a $15.2 million profit--transferred to the Rehab fund to help with disaster situations.

Definitely, huge profits from that initial $27 investment!

And to Mr. Yunus, may you live long and have many heirs that will take care of our people for generations on end.

Last Call for Summer Harvest

2006-10-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

Summer is gone, declares the nippy cold wind that embraced our picnic.

I am almost ready to say good-bye to my summer harvest of tomatoes, melons, squash, zucchini, okra, and leeks. Look at my bell peppers!! Bata pa, productive na. I feel like a proud mama showing off my children.

It was a good harvest. We didn't have to buy vegetables in the summer. With the ripe tomatoes, we made a glorious pasta dish with anchovies, basil and garlic, that we ate thrice a week--and never tired of it. My husband was successful in creating penne with sausage and , what else? bell peppers--from our garden, no less, so it's been quite special.

If only I could get the right recipe for something with fried green tomatoes. Otherwise, I will have to wait until they ripen so we can store them as tomato sauce.

We have used okra with squash and zucchini for a jazzed up pinakbet, sometimes, we did okra tempura. And the pepper's leaves, we have tried with tinolang manok. We rose to the challenge of using all the harvest and came up with cream of squash and zucchini soup, which is ironic because we need those soups for winter. None of the produce ever went to waste. We were popular neighbors because we gave some vegetables away.

It has been a wonderful summer harvest. Vegetables were easy to grow and there was lots of sunlight.

My garden reminds me of the many cycles of life, the coming and going, the farewells and the renewals.

This fall, I look forward to carrots, beans, sugar peas, black-eyed peas, spinach, and lettuce, and more herbs, like basil(I failed twice), dill, and fennel. I don't look forward to the overcast sky, early sunsets, and the dark mornings. .

My rosemary and oregano have graced many a pizza and many casseroles, too. And for my friend, BN, I will send you recipe links for your rosemary bush in Tags.

Non-Profit Tools and Inspiration

2006-09-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

non
Inspired by the non-profit blog of Britt Bravo, I gathered up a few resources for those who are interested with a hidden desire to invoke social change.

Once upon a time, I wanted to set up a co-op of women to do quilting and crocheting. We got started but then I wasn't equipped to take them to the next level. I remember those days as my days of clarity. Even if many people laughed at me ("Why are you doing this? Will you make money?"--non-profit nga e), the urge was so strong, it felt sacrilegious to not follow. To those who understand NGO's and the desire to help, I have no need to explain. And although I did not make money, i know the mothers did.

I have many pictures in Manila of the women who quilted and crocheted, our projects, our sessions in Welfareville, Mandaluyong, under the Unang Hakbang Foundation (UHF). But I have only a souvenir quilt with me now. UHF bought many quilts for a trade bazaar. I tried to sell the crochet trims to my friends in the children's clothing business. I am so bad in sales, but with the NGO, I wasn't shy. And for awhile, one quilting mom said, "Ang laking tulong, ma'm. Meron kaming nakukuha na pang-gastos."

Today, I cannot put together an NGO, instead I can be the beneficiary of many.

But to those who need more inspiration, check out the links. I want to prove that it takes just a little to do a lot. And really, all you need is your burning desire to give back:

Streetside Kids
Through the power of storytelling, Streetside Stories values and cultivates young people's voices, fostering educational equity and building community, literacy and arts skills. Streetside always need volunteers during the school year to help SFUSD middle school students to write autobiographical stories in their Storytelling Exchange Program and after school programs and to create digital stories in their Tech Tales program.

People's Grocery is a community-based organization working to find creative solutions to the food needs of the residents of West Oakland by building a local food system and local economy. They believe everyone deserves healthy food, regardless of income and it's about "food justice" - the human right to Healthy Food for Everyone.

Kick Start promotes sustainable economic growth and employment creation in Kenya and other countries by developing and promoting technologies that can be used by dynamic social entrepreneurs to establish and run profitable small scale enterprises, like a pump or a toilet system.

And then there are some books I came across:

My favorite book and inspiration is
Stone Soup for the World: Life-Changing Stories of Kindness and Courageous Acts of Service-- 100 stories of compassion and volunteerism, a celebration of ordinary people, sometimes kids, doing extraordinary acts of healing and building in their community--a testament to prove how much people can accomplish if only they open their hearts and contribute what we can towards the common good.

Robin Hood Marketing: Stealing Corporate Savvy to Sell Just Causes How do you motivate people to give money, take action, or otherwise advance your worthy cause? The right marketing, says this book.

Imagine Ourselves: Global Voices from a New Generation of Women

Managing a Non-Profit Organization in the 21st Century

In the link are other non-profit marketing strategies. I will have to add this one to my wish list.

Oh and I changed my mind, even if I am not in a financially stable position, I can still put together something--like sending used books and toys from here to poor schools over in the Philippines. Interested?

How shall we change the world today?

2 a.m. with visitors from Manila

2006-09-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

My bout with homesickness was calmed with a visit from some of my high school friends, Lizzie and Marga, from Manila. With their hectic tourist schedule, I was so glad fellow Bay Area resident, Iyette, took time to visit me here in faraway Antioch.

Ahh, if everyone could just have downtime like this with girlfriends every week, America would be a better place. We chatted, laughed, ate, drank until 2 am on a weekday--very rare for the USA. How refreshing that Iyette couldn't care less if she was meeting her boss early the next day or that she was driving them home tonight.

"Parang nasa Alexandra lang tayo," exclaimed Liz over and over again.
"Just like our nights-out in Manila!" said Marga.

We all concluded that our best friend is Malou. We missed Angel, Nats, and Ava.

And as I washed the dishes at 2 am, I was actually really happy and thinking: That's the thing with old friends, even across time and distance, you never skip a beat. There are things even America cannot change.

I am so glad they took this break, too!

Thanks, girls! Hope to see you again soon!

Contra Loma Regional Park

2006-09-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

We are lucky to live near the Contra Loma Regional Park's 776 acres which include an 80-acre reservoir for year-round fishing and a lifeguarded swim lagoon for summertime swimming. Year-round hiking, biking, and nature study are available to all at this Contra Costa County oasis, home to squirrels, butterflies, birds, quails and other small animals.

Many tours are held here by naturalists, botanists, gardeners, and nature-lovers. Many celebrations are held over these benches and barbeque pits.

I hope to get my husband in for some family time--kite-flying and grill some steak. I feel so far away from him as he slugs it out in his 9 to 5 job. I miss not having friends to chat with as I discover these places and go at them alone.

It is beautiful here, but lonely.

Meanwhile, I spent some quiet time here, taking in the view, and testing out my new camera. Yipee!

Peace walks in the Labyrinth

2006-08-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

“It is solved by walking.”
-St. Augustine of Hippo

A labyrinth is an ancient form found in many cultures and religions as far back as 5,000 years. Some labyrinths are made with rocks, some on landscape, and some on marble. There are labyrinths around the world—from Europe to New Zealand to the Philippines.

I checked out The Labyrinth Society and was so proud to find the we have several labyrinths in the country. One of which is at the Mirador Jesuit Villa (Society of Jesus' Retreat House) Phone: (632) 426-5941. They have an impressive-looking Classical Right-handed Knidos type of rock and garden labyrinth set in Baguio near the Lourdes Grotto.

Here at the St. George’s Episcopal Church in Antioch, there is a walkable nine-circuit French Cathedral Chartres-style labyrinth—a pattern developed for use in the 1200’s. Installed on asphalt by trained labyrinth facilitators, Craig and Jane Wirth in October 2004, the labyrinth continues to attract those who wish to connect with their deeper selves in the midst of our fast-paced and noisy outer world.

The labyrinth, versus a maze, has only one path that leads to the center and out again. There are no tricks, traps, or dead-ends. There are also no religious, age, status, or any requirements to walk the labyrinth.

“It’s always different for everybody,” said Jane. “You have to experience it to understand it. But once you walk the labyrinth, you will understand what it brings. For me, it was a mirror of my unrealized pain at first. It also helps me when I am stuck creatively. It is always a different walk—there is something new to learn and feel.”

Helen Curry, author of The Way of the Labyrinth: A Powerful Meditation for Everyday Life, said, “Labyrinths offer the opportunity to walk in meditation to that place within us where the rational merges with the intuitive and the spiritual is reborn. Quite simply, labyrinths are a way to discover the sacred in everyday life.”

Craig explains that, though the labyrinth “is not a magic tool,” it may be a magical avenue for self-expression. “Here is a tool to look at your own life. There is no right or wrong way to walk the labyrinth. In the many years of facilitating walks, we have sensed the joy and the suffering of the people. It has been very powerful.”

Members of the Labyrinth Guild of the Delta and The Labyrinth Society (TLS)—a non-profit world-wide organization providing educational information, project support and networking opportunities for people interested in labyrinths, past and present, Craig and Jane expound on the international efforts to share the healing labyrinth with a broader audience, specially with schools, hospitals, and prisons. TLS also created and maintains the World Wide Labyrinth Locator which will give everyone the opportunity to find labyrinths all over our planet.

The labyrinth at St. George has been used for candlelight walks for 9/11 memorials, for honoring Tsunami victims and survivors, and for the bombings in Beirut, among others—as a way to express concern and healing. Lately, Craig and Jane organized World Peace Walks. Held every third Sunday of the month, the walks are aimed towards achieving inner peace and sending peaceful thoughts to the world.

Walking for peace that Sunday was Kitty Hayes from Pittsburg. “Don’t worry much about the outcome. Just come and try it out,” she said. Also peace walking were Kathy Scopel from Antioch and John Fearn from Sherman Island. “The labyrinth is very compassionate. There is no judgement or comparison. I just offer myself the way I am,” said Fearn.

I send out prayers of peace and that all wars be resolved. I send out good wishes to my friends who are down or sick or lonely or poor. I think about my parents and my brothers and reflect on our lives together. I miss my brothers. I send happy thoughts to everyone and hope that our lives will continue to remain full in challenges and rich with wisdom and love. Let's not forget what is most important okay?

Child Sexual Predators

2006-08-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

I have been very bothered about the the big news in the Bay Area--the confession of John Karr. After 10 years, he claims responsibility for raping, beating, and strangling to death child beauty pageant winner, 7-year old Jon Benet Ramsey--her body found in their home's basement. For a long time, there were no solid leads on the Ramsey case and her own parents, John and Patsy (who recently succumbed to cancer), lived as suspects to their own daughter's murder.

Seemingly mild-mannered John Karr was also a substitute-teacher in elementary schools in Petaluma and San Francisco. Everyone is outraged by the fact that he has been arrested for child-pornography charges, quit his teaching jobs and then fled to Thailand and conveniently disappeared from the twisted murder case. That he was even cleared to teach kids is the outrage. And that his mother has been confined in a mental institution and that Karr consulted sex change doctors in Thailand makes for a clear profile of a very disturbed person.

But the case takes on more twists and turns. Not many are convinced that Karr is the real culprit. Some doubt his real involvement in the murder, citing that he just wants notoriety. He claimed drugging Jon Benet before killing her and that he "loved her," and that "she died accidentally." No drugs were found in her body during the autopsy.His ex-wife claims Karr was with them during the Christmas night of Benet's murder.

Now that the case is so sensationalized, many photos of Jon Benet are shown. Equally bothering to me are her images that show her as fully-made up, with false perfect teeth for the uncanny smile that looks so mature, Dr. Phil kind of called it "creepy," and criticized the stage-mothers who put their children through this. Many news critics have emphasized the sexual element in those pictures and wondered what those beauty pageants were all about.

It is every parents' nightmare--to lose their children, and by this horrible circumstance is hell. It is so sad to note that there are such people as child predators and the thought of them hurting the helpless children is totally implorable. I guess if there are angels in this world, there are also demons.

Join me in praying for the many children in this world--that they may not be harmed but cherished to continue our species and to inherit our world.

Check out the CNN coverage. Make sure you know what is happening with your children's lives. Warn them about what is acceptable versus improper behaviour. Encourage them to tell you anything, everything. And please. . .listen, and pray.

when life gives you lemons

2006-08-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

a repeat of the reason for my blogging. . .

a TV show not so long ago continues to inspire me. "the new heroes" aired in PBS last year featuring 14 people from around the world, the social enterpreneurs--that developed their businesses around solutions and resources to the very needy communities they were in.

albina ruiz found a way to address the inefficient garbage collection in peru. there was even a marketplace that had no garbage collection at all. unhealthy garbage festered. she gave the people in that community livelihood by empowering them to collect garbage more efficiently and environmentally safer than the government. now, the people prefer ruiz's services than peru's.

maria teresa leal founded a sewing coop for the very poor women in brazil to work from home and take care of their kids at the same time--recycling scraps of cloth into fashionable quilted fabric with knit and crochet accessories for designer fashion, now exported to europe.

muhammed yunus set up his grameen bank amidst the slums of bangladesh, providing micro-business with loans without collateral to the poorest women. grameen bank has been acknowledged as the single most important development in third world countries in 100 years.

i hope you can check out the site and meet the other 11 of my new heroes, not of wars or weapons, but of creative ideas and determination to change the world. maybe they will inspire you towards something greater, too! everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put into her heart. and aristotle said that "where your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your vocation."

my cousin, franco and his friends have founded ADVOCACY--a cause marketing agency that seeks to pursue CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) initiatives by linking companies with philippine NGOs. all the best to them!

so when life gives us garbage, we must segregate it. when life gives us cloth scraps, we should make a quilt.

how shall we change our world today?

click on the new heroes

Book Club tag

2006-08-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Cathy to list my book favorites. Buti nalang, malakas siya sa akin!

One book that changed your life:

Conversations With God 1, 2, & 3 by Neale Donald Walsh

God is always with us because He is IN us. We should look for answers from HIM from within.

One book you have read more than once:

The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav

Harmony, Cooperation, Sharing, and Reverence for Life all lead to Authentic Power.

One book you would want on a desert island:

Survivorman's Journals

Did he compile all his survivor tips yet? (How to make a fire, shelter, which plants, roots, mushrooms are poisonous, how to trap rats for food, etc)

One book that made you laugh:

All my kids' books--when they read them to me!

One book that made you cry:

Bridges of Madison County
What Dreams May Come
(before they were made into movies)

One book you wish had been written:

Stone Soup for the World

A compilation of stories of kindness that proves that the power of One can make a big change.

One book you wish had never been written:
N/A

One book you are currently reading:

Dr. Phil's Self Matters and Family Matters

One book you have been meaning to read:

Dante's Inferno
The Tipping Point

Maybe you'll want to join in, too! Check out Cathy's books. Also, don't forget to check out Frugal Reading in my other blog!

See you there!

Towards a Prosperous Life

2006-08-15T09:38:00.000-07:00

I covered the Assistance Day of the Power of Living Ministries Church. True to their mission of "educating, empowering, and equipping" the people into living lives that are prosperous and productive, they gave away resources, food, clothes and entertainment to the down-trodden.

It is hard to understand why there are poor people here in America, when every single opportunity is given to them--free public school, health care, housing/rental/food subsidy, and job-training and placement programs abound. But well, it is said that there are people here that have had bad luck or big debts,(that's the politically-correct term, versus medyo mga tamad ng konti) and need a leg-up. So they came to enjoy the Gospel Music and the sponsored goody-bags filled with potatoes, Frito Lays, See's Candy (!), school supplies, and health and dental certificates.

Here in the land of plenty, where God was effectively wiped out of their Constitution and their Pledge of Allegiance, where they cannot teach religion or morality in public schools, where people ask you cautiously whether you believe in God (Christ, even more controversial!) or not, before proceeding to have a conversation, it is refreshing to find a group devoted to sharing Christ's goodness and Word.

"Our greatest message is Love," said Pastor Christine Liddell. "That we love and support each other and reach out in love to everyone--regardless of where he came from or what he believes--because we want everyone to prosper and be in good health--as they prosper spiritually, too. It is not in God's plan that we suffer and be poor but that we should enjoy an abundant life."

The Power of Living Ministries conducts training towards employment and financial support to those in need.

"We have a parishioner that has found a job and recently purchased a home. We have had a homeless parishioner that is now a millionaire," said Liddell.

"Can you come to the Philippines?" I half-joked.

a safe flight in a time of terrorists

2006-08-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

my son spent 2 months in manila and aug.10 was his very anticipated return to SFO. i prayed hard for his safe trip back home and that the customs would not open his baggage up as he brought in some disney movies from quiapo for his baby sister. he was to take the shuttle service to take him back home. while waiting, i picked up my other kids, waited for my husband to come from work, went to the grocery to buy my son his favorite steak, and started cooking dinner.

my son called from the shuttle service, signalling that he was out of the airport. just then, on CNN, flashed a discovered plot of liquid bombs to be assembled in flights to the USA. right away, world-wide airport security clamped down on carry-on bags--restricting all shampoos, gels, perfumes, and all other liquids (even baby's milk for awhile!). they eventually allowed prescription meds, insulin, baby milk, breastmilk (!), and nothing else--no celfones or I-pods either as they may be used as detonators. the idea being seemingly benign liquids could be mixed into a liquid bomb by conspirators. 24 arrests were made in london, many of the suspects had pakistani links.

traffic in and out of SFO airport was horrendous and flight delays were expected as everyone opened up their carry-ons and tossed expensive perfume and make-up, water and soda bottles, into garbage bins.

i could only sigh in relief and get down on my knees in prayer that my son had a safe flight back into the US and was guided out of there just in the nick of time!

Check out CNN for updates on what has become of air travel in a time of terrorists.

while crocheting

2006-08-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

crocheting is one of my most favorite things to do. though i was no good at it at grade school home economics class, i picked it up quite late when my tita bing offered to teach me how to make glass holders she used to give us as christmas presents. another aunt, tita ceci, taught me how to read patterns. i have been hooked ever since. this is a picture of a bedspread i put together for my daughters, inspired by our local "warm up america" chapter. donating squares is one of my best things to do.

before you think i am turning into a granny on a rocker, hold on. crochet is not an old thing at all. when the hands are busy, the mind wanders off. when i crochet, i am transported into another world. in this world, my spirit awaits. as my fingers are now graceful with the hook and as i knot the thread or yarn in repeated patterns, my mind flits away into a dimension of quiet. alone with myself is where i find my wise voice, the one that drowns in the physical and busy, noisy world--but it is also the voice that is steady, loving, and always waiting for me, eloquent, ageless, and timeless when i want to listen.

so my spirit and i tell stories like old friends. we go through my life so far together, like a slideshow. there is no judgement, no guilt. we just go through a slideshow and skip it if it's too overwhelming to process at the moment. i realize my spirit is kind and she doesn't scold or scoff, and the insight she offers is always genius.

i realize i am closest to my Creator when i am one with my spirit.

while crocheting, i thought of a business. while crocheting, i thought of writing. while crocheting, i heard a message to teach a quilting class from the scraps i had from my clothing business. while crocheting, i thought of saving the earth. while crocheting, i realized that i haven't spent one-on-one time with one of my kids and that the other day, she seemed forlorn. while crocheting, i realized the kind gestures of my husband the other day but at that time, i was too busy to recognize. and so while crocheting, i realized that i was loved by my husband and my children, and how lucky i am to be with them, how beautiful life is.

paradoxically, while crocheting, i am free from body and boundaries. i am not a mother, wife, daughter, friend. i am just me. sometimes the possibilities are infinite, its profoundly overwhelming because i may be vaguely shown the answers to my life's problems and i am overwhelmed! and so my spirit gives me a chance to take it or judge it as impossible, or to leave it to settle in for another time. to be at this state is incredibly peaceful--my elementary words cannot articulate a dimension with none.

i am not only restored by crochet, i am recharged. sometimes, i can crochet way til midnight when inspired by the Holy Spirit. to make something out of balls of thread makes me feel alive. and the conversations i have when i am so near the Lord sure beats going to mass on sundays when no one is listening to the priest.

it has been said that crochet is the new yoga. now i know why. it is also a venue towards deep prayer for me.

Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, linked creativity and spirituality by showing that a higher power connects the human creativity with the creative energies of the universe. she said that it is when one is creative that God speaks to her.

i hope you find your venue to being with your spirit. sometimes it could be walking or running alone, music, writing, painting, beading, scrapbooking. it was albert einstein who said "imagination is greater than knowledge." try to leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous--you will find the answers you are looking for.

for all crocheters and knitters out there, check out Save the Children and find out how you can save premature babies survive by stitching a bonnet to keep them warm.

Peach-Picking in Brentwood

2006-07-31T12:07:00.000-07:00

Fruitful on its 51st year, Moffat Ranch opened their orchard doors to eager peach lovers on July 17, featuring Freestone Peaches: Suncrest, Fay Elberta, O’Henry and Elegant Lady varieties ripe for the pickin’ from July to mid-August.

Jean Moffat runs the ranch with her husband, Walter, and son Jim, and some part-time helpers like Shannon Reid. “I came from Brentwood, Southern California. My husband is a Brentwood native. We bought this orchard in 1952. It had walnuts, peaches, cherries, and apple trees then. We still have young walnut trees but replaced the apples with peaches, as there was no market for apples,” Moffat said. “Today, we have 10 acres of peach, nectarine, and young walnut trees. The peach trees take about 3 years to start bearing fruit and then live a 12-year cycle.”

Moffat ranch started as packers and would ship their fruit to Oakland and San Francisco markets. Trucks would come and take them. This got the neighbors curious, expressing their desire for the ripes. “We were the only ones with U-pick then. Now, there are about 10 within the 1-mile radius. There have been many changes in Brentwood through the years,” observed Moffat.

She recalls last year as sort of a banner year for peaches (“Everyone had beautiful fruit!”) but this year, the rains thwarted pollination and Moffat predicts a short season for Fay Elbertas and Elegant Ladies. Nevertheless, the Suncrest variety yielded a luscious and bountiful harvest, with dense flesh and full flavor. Come and get them at $1.25 a pound. They have had customers from as far as San Francsisco, Pacifica, San Jose, Arizona, and Reno, that go peach-picking themselves or have them picked by the ranch crew.

Customer Pat Morgan from Oakley has been coming to Moffat Ranch for 30 years now. She comes in from the orchard with her bounty of suede-y golden-red skins. “It’s great to be able to drive into the orchard and pick the peaches. I prefer them fresh in season. I take some of them to the senior citizens who can’t pick them anymore,” she said. “Here’s a tip, I was told to pick the big ones because the stone inside is the same size.”

Moffat coaches beginners: “If the fruit comes off easily, it’s ready to eat. Choose based on the deep yellow, not the red part.”

Even kids can come to pick fruit as there are many trees with low branches. My sons love the peaches, specially when they’re overripe. My husband says they taste like “lamog na mangga,” (overripe mangoes).

Adjusting to a Land of Excess

2006-07-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

Here in America, they make it easy for you to want to buy. There are mark-downs almost every week and how can you not buy something that you don't need when the price is so low? I heard of a mother who bought 13 Easter outfits for her toddler because they were on sale --but never got to use them all next Easter. How many Easter outfits can you actually wear? Did she end up saving money on the mark-downs?

Did you see the Oprah episode on Debt Diet? There was a couple with 2 kids making $102,000/year but had a debt of $170,000, $80,000 on their student college loans. They live in a house they cannot afford, have 2 new flashy cars, their celfone bills are $394/month and they spend $100 a day on take-out food because the wife won't cook, maybe because spends $7000/year on her hair!

The average American also has $8,000 in credit card debt.

It's not that I am judging them. It's just with so much, I am hoping to catch some of the money they throw around.

Well, for a family with 5 kids starting in the States, with an income of about $55,000/year, that's a lot to think about because our standards are way lower as $100 (their daily food take-out budget), is my WEEKLY food grocery and cook-in budget for 8! I remain in a constant struggle to balance our budget by living frugally but comfortably and as debt-free as possible.

There are some standards that I won't concede, though, like a decent house (rental)in a good neighborhood where the school system is safe and competent and cars with good AC and will not conk out on me on the highway. I also will not allow my kids to look kawawa (unkempt) or go hungry. Other than that, I am willing to live beneath our means. So flat-screen TV's are way down that list--if only I can get my husband to agree!

Kaya kaya? Count the ways of frugal living with me and who knows what we will find?

I have started a new blog dedicated to my cheap adventures: Frugal Immigrants. See you there!!

our summer garden survives the heat wave

2006-07-27T11:03:00.000-07:00

we just survived a heat wave of about 112 degrees over the week! there were power outages in many counties. never thought i would see the day of brown-outs in america! a serious situation where many seniors were hospitalized and many residents were unprepared.

i thought our garden would be scorched but our vegetables seem okay. our garden has been bountiful!

check out our first summer harvest of tomatoes, squash, zucchini, and lately, our baby melons--maybe they are cantaloupes because they just sprouted from the compost (and we thought they were squash!) next in line are red and green bell peppers.

that's syrel with our squash, maybe a pumpkin pala.

lessons in losing and winning

2006-07-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

i have always been competitive. and so it took a long time for me to be a gracious loser. maybe it is in our genes, as i know my dad and his siblings don't like losing, and half of my cousins are sore losers. maybe because a lot has been expected of all of us. thus, since i always try to be diligent and give it my best, LOSING IS SO PAINFUL! when i lose a game, i have to play gracious but i am very upset with myself inside. i can't let it go and i sulk for days.

lately, i realized there are so many valuable lessons in losing. for one, i learned that since losing deflates my inflated ego, i am forced to learn humility--that i am not better than anyone else. nor are they better than me. it's just a matter of consequence, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. i learned also that there are many factors to winning: practice, spirit, and surrender.

in the last badminton tournaments, i felt ready to win. badminton is a fast-paced game requiring quick reflexes and quick thinking. it's funny how a tournament changes your game. and in the first touney, i was just stunned, plainly reactive, with no strategy. i didn't use what i knew, i just blacked-out! i lost so miserably and couldn't talk for days!

i asked the Lord why i lost when i tried my best. i heard His answer to be something like this: if you play to win, you will be very sad to lose. if you play to do your best and have fun, you will not feel very bad to lose. . .

so i pondered that divine point for many weeks, loosening my grip on wanting to win period. playing a game can be enjoyable and winning may not be the ultimate goal. in a game, i learn more about myself--how far i can push, how ruthless/kind i can be, how bad i feel when i am bullied, thus how compassionate i am towards beginners. i also am beginning to learn strategy and execute the shots i want to do, when i want to, how to share the strategy with my partner, how to cheer him on, how to cooperate. i also learn not to take it out on myself (nor my partner) when we are not of the same skill level because even then, there are lessons to be learned.

in the end, it may not be about winning or competition --but of more evolved values like sharing and cooperation.

this way, defeat means learning and victory is doubled because it is shared.

i want to turn sour grapes into sweet grapes so i will quote GARY ZUKAV author of SEAT OF THE SOUL:

"You lose power whenever your fear. The road to authentic power is always through what you feel, through your heart. Therefore, it is never appropriate to disregard what you feel. . .

Humble spirits are free to love and to be who they are. They have no artificial standards to live up to. They are not drawn to the symbols of external power (i.e: medals). This does not mean that they do not take pride in what they can do well. .

To compete means to strive for something in company or together, to seek after winning something with others. If the something you aim for for is prestige or a gold medals, it is your personality that is motivating the competition. You are striving to empower yourself, to assert your superiority, at the expense of others. You place your sense of self-worth in the hands of others. You have no power even if you win every gold medal the world can produce."

in this most recent tourney, my team lost but i must say, i played one of the best games yet. i am so aware of what i want to do because my focus is not to win but how to play well. i am so aware of my partners--some black-out, too or get angry at themselves, some put effort at working together. but i played a most spectacular game with my parnter, harry. we cheered each other on and kept positive. all we committed to each other was to try our best, and harry stayed in front. WE WON! and i will not forget that game ever.

and so i will continue to practice and keep my spirits positive--only now, i don't measure myself against someone else's standards. i will have to learn how to surrender that maybe winning is destined--depends on when you have earned it. (and only HE can say).

FOR THERE ARE WAY MORE LESSONS TO LEARN IN LOSING THAN IN WINNING.

i am learning that there are many end goals to a game: playing your best, a chance to test your unused personality traits, teamwork, cooperation--all of which are quite enjoyable.

my self-esteem is unhooked from just winning because i refuse to be defined by the game. the old saying "win or lose, it's how you play the game," has become profound.

let's go play!

Standing Up for Respect

2006-07-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

I came to pick up my newspaper copies in the office. And while I was sitting in the waiting room, scanning the papers for my articles, a Caucasian man, maybe in his sixies, came out from the editorial offices and introduced himself, “Hi, I’m Harry Stoll. And you are. . ?

“Hi, I’m Minotte,” I said, standing up.

“Oh, don’t stand up for me. You’re a lady!” Harry said, amused. He went on and told me stories about his Filipino-Chinese son-in-law, touching on his own European heritage. He shared with me with fond stories of his part Filipino grandson who is quite close to him.

I was awkward because I didn’t give my standing up to shake his hand any thought.

We met again at the car service shop. And when he approached me, I stood up again to say hello.

“You stand up because of my age, right?” Harry said, quite puzzled at how slow I am to unlearn my behavior.

So now I will examine my standing up to meet people and why they insist that I don't.

In the Philippines, where I come from, where families are extended, and where I grew up with my grandparents--we are taught to stand up to show respect--for elders, for superiors, for priests, or when you are in someone else's house. In the really olden days, we were taught to stand up for foreigners. Today, men still stand up for women but this is mostly superceded by the age of the man. If he is older, the younger woman may show respect by standing up to greet him. For parents and revered grandparents, it is customary for the (grand)children to take their hand to the forehead and receive a blessing from them. And no one ever talks back to older people, not even when they are wrong.

Here in America, where everyone is a "foreigner," where you can call your father/mother-in law by first names, where equality of opportunity is emphasized, man, woman, young, old, disabled, abled--everyone has the same chance and I guess, the same treatment. I mean, if the disabled woman beside you can take your job as manager, then you will assume that she has had the same educational and intellectual talents, so why give her your seat in the bus if she won't give her yours?

Also, here in this first-world, modern and equal country, everyone is on a first-name basis. I had to stop myself from calling my editor (and therefore my boss) Mr. Lemyre so many times as I couldn't bring myself to call him just Rick. But I had to, lest he think of me as trying to create a caste system in the office.

In Manila, everyone above 30 is called Ma'm/Sir at one point or another, be it at work or in fast-food joints as customers. Age supercedes even social class. It is common for wealthier people to call their elderly household staff/drivers as "Mang" or "Manang" (Mr. or Mrs.) something, versus just by their first names. Even older siblings are called "kuya" or "ate" and friends of your parents are called uncles and aunts.

My son's playmate, Jackie, calls me "Magu's mom" because he couldn't pronounce Mrs. Cuenca. When Magu also attended his classmate's birthday party at their place, his classmate's father told everyone to call him by his first name while he was handing out nametags. My poor son called him tito (uncle) so-and-so, out of habit. Later, he realized it was not the same as the Filipino custom of calling everyone uncle and auntie so-and-so even if they weren't relatives. I told him, he could call him Mr. Smith, if he is not comfortable calling him by his first name--which kind of connotes disrespect for our culture.

It may be an uphill battle, but I would like to try to keep this endearing custom alive in my children. I certainly will not accept their not standing up to greet us (their parents) with a kiss when we come in. I have taught them to do this when they were all little. I explain to them the reverence standing up and in calling the older people by Mr. so-and-so--that it is formal and respectful because age gives them a certain level that younger ones must acknowledge.

Shivers that my kids will grow up like many American teens here--as they zip by without acknowledging their parents, talking back at them, cursing infront of them, blaring loud music in their rooms or cars.

Believe it or not, "Just because I said so" still prevails for Filipino parents and their children. We use many old-fashioned parenting tactics and sometimes it is innate that we manipulate them into thinking that putting old parents into a nursing home is a sin because they have to take care of us when we get old. That is because we provide our young with love and support way after they are 18. And to instill discipline, we still spank them into place, and they cannot talk back to us, even if they know they can call 9-1-1.

This is our culture--pros and cons included. Although I will be careful about the manipulative part, I will retain the endearing part of respect and love of family and elders as my kids grow up here in America. My boys are taught to give up their seats in the BART to women and the elderly. Their tall and strong bodies are trained not to let me carry all the grocery packages. My daughters should dress appropriately at all times. They also cannot make a mess or be noisy or sit in the couch with legs wide open in other people's homes. And they certainly must stand up when the homeowner arrives.

And maybe the whole point is beyond culture. I don't want to unlearn respect and reverence for those that have come before me. Harry will tease me but I will continue to stand up when I see him. I don't want to unlearn propriety and I am not stiffened by it. I respect people not for politics, money or power. I show respect to people, not just the elderly, so that they may feel good about themselves--because they are the highest link in this chain we call life.

I guess that is what respect is--an offshoot of humility, kindness and compassion, a reverence for people and the awesome beauty of God's creations. If only we had endearing terms and customs for that, too.

And though everyone may be equal, everyone deserves a little respect--and standing up to show it can't hurt now, can it?

training your husband?

2006-07-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

My husband forwarded an amusing article by Amy Sutherland for the New York Post called "WHAT SHAMU TAUGHT ME ABOUT A HAPPY MARRIAGE." Because it seemed like he was dropping a big hint, I read it and considered its wisdom.

Sutherland was writing about a school for exotic animal trainers, watching students do the seemingly impossible: teaching hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard.

"The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband," Sutherland said.

She ignored her husbands tantrums or his litter of wet towels and gave him a kiss when he threw his dirty clothes in the hamper.

Let's all read it and learn. I think the author meant this training for small and petty behavior. Those deep-seated issues might not respond to training. Just thinking of ignoring my hubby's annoying behavior already makes me tense. If you decide to train your husband (or wife!), let me know how it went.

Meantime, I will crack my dead-ma whip. . .

counting our blessings

2006-07-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

when you come from the philippines, the grocery in USA is like disneyland. the chicken and eggs are super big, the meats are clean and lean, there are butter subtitutes that taste like butter and double-churned fat-free, sugar-free ice cream that tastes like regular. even filipino food here tastes better. plus, food is cheap, specially chicken. thus, i have about 40 chicken recipes to counter, "chicken again?"

i count chicken as a blessing because in the philippines, it could be noodles for many.

in counting my blessings, i realized perspective, not actuality, is the key. for in manila, native chicken can be "free range," after eating good filipino food, someone washes the dishes, and we miss ube and mango ice cream flavors.

my friend challenged me to be grateful for 10 things a day. easy at first, but i had to come up with new ones (without repeating) every day. i find that this attitude is exciting because there are actually new blessings everytime.

my biggest blessings may very well be my biggest challenge--my kids, all 5 of them. i am thankful that i get the chance not just to parent them, but to parent them the best way i can. i am blessed that we are all together, starting a new chapter in our lives. i marvel at how they trusted our decision as a family and how they rise to the occasion of migrating, adjusting and feeling their way around here.

to see them grow into fine young men is exhilirating to me as i slowly learn that they have their own personalities that they are trying to exert. that i helped them carve themselves is more satifying than looking at my printed by-line in the paper. i have to hurry up and work on accepting that one of them has a foot out the door--and i must not weigh him down as he spreads his wings.

to know them by the smell of their hair--one smells milky, the other one like flowers, the other one a bit earthy; the older ones almost manly with the faint smell of handsome deodorant only discernable when i ask for a hug.

to watch my youngest one as she naps, i memorized the color of her milky skin and spy
that she has baby hair on her back, so i will remember her exactly this way when i am looking out the window from my rocking chair. . .

that my husband is a good soul, and that he is healthy is the B in my blessings. that we both get to play badminton is a privilege. i look forward to many adventures with him when we are 50. meantime, i am glad that i made this move with him.

that we are closer as a family because we have to depend on each other is precious. we like staying home and hanging out. the boys clean the cars and mow the grass in the week-ends. the little girls play house with the balikbayan box. we started a small tradition of brunch day on saturdays--french toast, bacon, and rice. i am sure we will look back at this experience fondly one day.

that i can work from home and watch all of this happen--what a gift!i have taken care not be sucked into the american rat race, and cared more about just being than being something. that our garden blesses us with organic vegetables and lends me peace of mind is amazing. that we have TFC (the filipino channel) so we can watch wowowee and the pinoy soaps, for phone cards (14 cents/min) to call my dad and my lola, and the internet that makes keeping in touch way easier, and this blog. . . how did we live without these in the 80's?

that we are nursing new friendships with generous souls who like to help us out. it's wonderful that when you ask for assistance, the Lord leads you towards what you need, and the exact people/signs/books that can help you. bookstores have been a lifeline for me here because they are so huge and varied, they have comforted me in many ways.

that i get to know my mom more and that she is doing so well after her kidney transplant. that my brothers and i are in touch and actually miss each other.

to yaya syrel--because without her, this would not have been possible. it's a running joke when i told ricky, umuwi na siya huwag lang si yaya syrel. but it's not a joke that without yaya syrel, my perspective would shift widly!

how funny that inspite of a tight budget in the USA, i am surprised that my perspective of our blessings have nothing to do with material stuff, nor location. so maybe we are on the right track. . .

watch out for midlife, she can be a temptress, prompting one to ask, "is there all there is?"

what is your biggest blessing?

the reluctant immigrant--starting poor in USA?

2006-07-07T17:58:00.000-07:00

starting off bare in the USA has been quite challenging, with many adjustments. i remember thinking, we were better off when we came here as tourists. but last year as permanent residents, we couldn't buy anything or go anywhere without a financial plan. (i.e how are we going to pay for that?) i bought only in walmart and costco and everywhere else where the prices were lower,(like salvation army and goodwill--but don't tell my mom!) considering there were 5 kids to feed and clothe. i did not enter macy's or any mall. we did not eat out. and i found myself nervously holding my kids back to "one treat each!" at the dollar store. one dollar na nga nalang, nervous pa ako!

but the real test of how poor you are in the states is what my brother, miguel, calls the mcdonald's price index. i had gone without breakfast, in the field at 2 p.m. and i was hesitating to buy a dollar double-cheeseburger. one dollar na nga nalang, pinag-isipan ko pa!

i guess, if you have no money to buy mcdo, the index says you are poor. . .

i burst into tears to my husband when i my kids asked to go to mcdo and i said maybe next week--not because there was no time, but because the budget was too tight. and i whined about the fact that at least, in manila, we were not that poor to not be able to buy mcdo for lunch.

with our family's income just above poverty,there were times the monthly budget just would not fit (and none of my articles were published) and we had to dig into our savings which was difficult for me as those dollars were converted 54 times from pesos. that's one big stage of migrating--converting. it was always times 54 to the dollar. thus, everything was expensive because if you can get a kiddie shirt for P75 pesos in megamall, you will have to think about $5dollars for a tshirt in Kmart, because of course, i would have to buy 5 tshirts at a time for my 5 kids.

we watched movies rarely and only during matinee ($6.50 vs regular after 6 p.m. $9, versus P120 in the philippines--stop converting!) and none of the kids could buy the enticing butter popcorn/nachos combo for $5 dollars that make watching complete because we packed a backpack-full of snacks, sandwiches, and drinks even if it was discouraged and wa-poise, and saved maybe $20 dollars at a time.

i had to get up and dust myself when i couldn't buy the kids shoes at the same time. although no one else noticed, i saw them in the school playground with worn out shoes, compared to their classmates. one pair for one child every month was allowed by the all-ruling budget. and i cried when my husband was late to pay his credit card because they put on a finance charge of $15. when you pinch a dollar for lunch, you will cry for $15 down the drain. (which also equalled 1 pair of shoes for some one).

my generous husband, ricky, pegged food expense at $150/week and i thought, "wow, that's a lot of food!" but the budget couldn't support it so i reduced it to $100/week, and then to $80/week (for 8 people!)--when $40/day for 1 person is considered frugal--there's even a show for it in HGTV. so let me tell you, $80/week for 8 people to budget our food is phenomenal. and if it's kulang, i ask my husband to stop eating and remind him he's on a diet.

this is the first time, kabado ako sa pagbili ng school supplies, ng pambaon, books, christmas and birthday presents. and my heart breaks when my kids want a new toy and i have to keep stalling month after month. birthdays are special--because you get the ONE toy you like, and i get to bake a flat chocolate cake with sprinkles on top.

i thought, "is this the better life we left manila for? i can't seem to see the land of opportunity as just that--yet.

i have been poor before, worked from paycheck to paycheck--but it's so hard with the kids. and so hard at this age.

lest i look like a whiny brat, i count my blessings and realize how lucky we are. i pay tribute to all who have gone before us. i remember my cousin who started out with no status, scrubbing mcdo's toilets. or my cousin who kept 2 jobs--counting candy as inventory at midnight, and then running off to his second job on a bicycle. starting out poor in the USA can really make you sob. my friend ate once a day because he would not buy lunch at work and his wife had to tend to a newborn. my cousins had to sleep in used mattresses. and many friends had to live with a relative to get by. my aunt worked as candy-striper (nurse's aide) at the hospital, on the graveyard shift, and my uncle sold life insurance, while folding the laundry. (he later became consul-general of new york--yey!)

i also think of the ones who buy $400 for a purse (because it had to be green and on sale), and the many who throw away untouched, perfectly good food--should i pick it up and bring it home, like the give-away furniture at the curb, or crayons, supplies, books? i am amazed at how almost everything at home we bought from a garage sale--but how beautiful they become after some paint and stencil.

many have said, "maawa ka muna sa sarili mo." and i think we have just passed that stage of migrating. it's true, and it's not so bad--because lately, things have started to look better already. i feel so blessed for hurdling the first stage. we may be poor but we are remarkably blessed and actually quite happy.

ricky's birthday marks our first year in the states. i got to make him a semi-homemade strawberry shortcake. nico gave him a car magazine, magu gave him a back-scratcher, selena gave him a night-light with jesus and mary on it, syrel gave him a rosary, and monica gave him a box of junior mints. (all from the dollar store!)

i have never seen him more touched.

(next: counting our blessings in the USA)